A
female
age
30-35,
*iobhanKay_x
writes:hey, I'm female and 5" 4. I recently had a still birth. After the loss of Dillian I weighed 14.6 stone (202 lbs). In the last month I've lost 3.7 stone and now weigh 10.9 stone (149 lbs). I've often made myself purge after eating and do a lot of exercise. I force myself to go days without eating but I can't stop. I'm always so tempted by food so why can't I stop eating?I do running, swimming, gym and bike riding but I don't seem to look any thinner? The scales say I've lost weight but the mirror says otherwise! to be honest it looks like I've put on weight!My boyfriend thinks I have an eating disorder. When I was 12 I was frequently raped and when I was 13 my mother died. He went to the doctors about em and the doctor said traumatic pasts like death, rape divorce can cause eating disorders. I know I don't have an eating disorder.. I just wish I wouldn't eat so much. I think there's something wrong with me as I can't stop eating. My periods are all over the place, I've had 2 in the last 2 weeks. Why can't I stop eating? How can Ii make myself less hungry? Is it true that if you throw your food up it only takes away half of the calories?many thanks Siobhan Kay
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female
reader, Gypsii  +, writes (28 November 2008):
Your boyfriend is right, you have an eating disorder...likely bulimia. Just as alcoholics medicate themselves with alcohol, you're doing the same with food. The behavior is associated with deep feelings of insecurity and abandonment coupled by ongoing episodes of grief. I suspect that you blame yourself for the loss of the child with little understanding that it's not your fault that the baby didn't survive.Bulimics, I used to be one of them, can't stop eating because eating releases endorphins in the brain that temporarily connects to our pleasure center. That is, the pain temporarily goes away during the eating cycle but the guilt and fear of being fat kicks in which triggers the purging. Binging and purging food is no different than binging on alcohol. I'd suggest that you see an eating disorder specialist so that you can finally free yourself from all of the guilt, shame, and sadness that is plaguing your life.I learned that bulimia is a brain/chemical issue so it must be treated. Break the cycle of self hate and get help....you deserve it. Your body is trying to tell you something (i.e. "periods all over the place", etc..) so stop before it's too late. Most bulimics and anorexics wind up losing their periods, hair loss, anemic, heart problems, losing memory, tooth loss, and looking very old and haggard by the time it's over. Bulimia and anorexia can also be life threatening so do get some help now. Most people make the mistake of convincing themselves that all that's needed is will power to stop eating. Again, just as alcoholics trigger something in their brains that cause the physical addition to alcohol, food addicts are the same. You can't simply stop doing this alone so get help.I'm glad that you had the courage to reach out about this. You're not alone and you can recover.
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