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Why am I so scared of SEX!!!

Tagged as: Friends, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 February 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 8 February 2008)
A male Russian Federation age 30-35, *ran writes:

Hi, I am 20 year old male and it might be funny I had a lot of chances for sex, but I never got the guts to.

Here is a bit of background. I am bi and no one in my family knows about it and I am probably more gay than bi but I want a family and children so I'm guessing I'm BI just get turned on more by males.

Well here is the deal, when I was 18 I went to this place with my cousin and he wanted to have SEX, I don't know why, so we picked up a girl (prost) and he had sex with her then when it came to my turn I couldn't get an erection, I was either very worried or something. Then there was another time it took me 3 minutes to get an erection during a blo****. But I am still scared to have sex for some reason. All my younger cousins had it and I didn't and I always get a lot of chances to have but I always chicken out and end my relationship when it comes to sex. I don't know why I am so scared of having sex, please help me I know it sounds funny but it's not very funny because every time I try to have a relationship with a girl when it comes to sex we break up....

View related questions: cousin, erection

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A male reader, aran Russian Federation +, writes (8 February 2008):

aran is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Well the thing is i dont have problem with erection all the time only when it comes to the real deal maybe nerves or smth. and maybe i am gay but lol i don't want to me gay all the time lol it sounds wierd but just being gay from where i come originally would mean that no1 in my family would support me parents wise, probably most of my cousins wouldnt give a damn since they are more 'modern'.

and i mean yeah maybe its the fact that i cant have sex with a prosi. i mean when i was younger i went out with older girls we made out touchign and so on and i had erections but now its different :( i mean i only have problem with erection when it comes to SEX ;)

btw thanx for your answers every1 :)

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A male reader, polarkite United States +, writes (8 February 2008):

polarkite agony auntHonestly, it's normal not to find prostitutes attractive. It sounds like you live in the red light district of town or something. :)

I think you just listen to your inner-feelings and not get rushed into sex. You probably want to be honest with your girlfriends or boyfriends too about how you feel about it. They should respect you for it.

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A male reader, SamuraiRick United States +, writes (8 February 2008):

SamuraiRick agony auntLike the previous guy said, I think you are full-blown gay and don't want to admit it. If you can't get an erection...foreplay or not, it means quite simply girls don't turn you on. So you should just face that admit it and just be happy being gay.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2008):

It sounds to me as though you just aren't attracted to women. If you're only using the term "bi" because you want a family and children then you're probably in fact just gay. And don't worry, there are plenty of gay families out there these days.

I guess I don't really know the extent of your sexual encounters with men. If you're having bad luck with them too then I agree with Mizz A that you could look into sex enhancing pills.

Best of luck.

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A female reader, mizz_A United Kingdom +, writes (8 February 2008):

mizz_A agony auntThis is nothing for people to laugh at and doesn't sound funny at all! Maybe if you were in a deeper more loving relationship it would help you to relax, plenty of foreplay would definitely help you to explore someones body and get relaxed before actual intercourse. Personally I think someone who doesn't bother with foreplay is a bad lover, at least 20 minutes of it gets you relaxed and comfortable enough to get in the mood, if still in doubt have you tried sex enhancing pills? (Viagra) Are you actually getting horny or just having sex because you feel it's a need? There is definitely no rush into penetration so relax and take as long as you need. Any more questions feel free to private message me thanx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2008):

Scared...? It sounds to me like you did the responsible thing, I mean who knows where the "prost" has been??? However when it comes to relationships it gets a little different. Maybe you just aren't ready? Take me for example, honestly I want to get married before I have sex, it's just the way I am.

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