A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a nervous wreck. I met this man in my work uniform, we hit it off. I am a chunky girl. He went away for about six months and we kept contact. He is back in the states, and wants to see me. Why am I so nervous that he wont like how I look? He seen me in my not so flattering uniform when he gained interest. I look better in normal clothes. I am a pretty girl, just on the thicker side. When I told him I wanted to start exercising, he said good cause too many people think its okay to just be huge. I took that as a sign my weight might be unappealing to him. But he was interested and still is, knowing I'm chubby, so I'm very confused.Any ideas on how to get over this? Should I ask him about it, or just put on my confident face and leave it be? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (20 October 2013):
 *He* hit on *you*, so clearly he finds your appearance attractive.
Insecurity, on the other hand, isn't attractive to anyone except maybe emotional abusers, who often enjoy knowing their partner doesn't have the confidence to walk away from the abuse. So there's really no good reason I can think of to choose to display insecurity EVER, let alone a first date.
Be confident, wear clothes that flatter your shape (many of the fashion websites and magazines have tips for this), and rock your first date with this guy. You deserve happiness in life - go get it :)
A
female
reader, YoungButNotNaive  +, writes (18 October 2013):
 I don't think it'll be an issue. I think when he made that remark about people thinking it's okay to be huge, he meant he doesn't like obese people. If you're just a little thick/chunky, that's different. You've also told him you plan to exercise more, so he knows you're going to lose weight anyway. If he found you unappealing, he wouldn't have bothered with you at all.
Just wear something that flatters you (something that fits properly), and you should be fine.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (18 October 2013):
 If you are pretty girl, go with that. If he likes you the way you are, great, if he's expecting Twiggy (google her) then he'll be disappointed. Good news is that he's met you already and has some idea of what you look like.
Put on your confident face and OWN it. You are perfect and lovely just the way you are. If you don't like yourself, then how can you honestly expect him to?
So you know you are pretty….. that's your approach.
P.S. You can change your body if you are not healthy or happy with it, you know. It takes a bit of effort but the results are amazing.
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