A
female
age
36-40,
*eloved000
writes:I just got engaged a month ago- my fiancée keeps telling me how much he loves me. Do whatever I want him to do, treat me so well and put me pretty much first to everything. I wasn't crazy about him at first but I leaned to love him as well as the time goes but being together. He has a 6 years old child that lives with us full time. He gave me permission to discipline him and really want me to love his child like my own. He pretty much do whatever that can makes me happy. But I have this big question- How come after all the things he did for me and showed me love and attention- all in all I am still not convince that he really loves me. Why am I feeling this way? I want to love him and believe in him and trust him but I have a hard time believing it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2013): I feel sorry for him.
He loves you, has said it, shown it and wants to marry you. He even allows you to discipline his child if need be. He has been open, done everything right.
You however, are "not sure" of his feelings? doh!
It's your own feelings, and somehow I believe YOU don't LOVE HIM! So sad...
OR, perhaps you have been hurt in the past and you feel he is too good to be true? That you don't deserve him?
Spend time self reflecting, or go and see a psychologist to get to the bottom of your own feelings, before you gravely hurt this good man!
A
female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (15 July 2013):
I feel that maybe you feel subconsciously that you dont deserve a man like this, or that you fear that he will turn out to be ''too good to be true''.
he sounds like a great guy, loving and genuine. perhaps making a list of what you like and dislike about him (and destroy it before anyone gets to see it) will help.
good luck :)
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (15 July 2013):
 I don't think it is your fiancee's feelings that you are questioning, it is yours.
Everything indicates to me that he has been a very nice boyfriend: he treats you well, he has invited you into his son's life, he is putting you first and from all outward appearances he is doing all the right things. Unless he is hoodwinking you, he sounds like a great catch!
But if you re-read your post your self-doubts come out. I don't think you are in love with him. You like him but I don't think you truly are head over heels with him and rather than admit that to yourself, you question his motives.
Personally, I think you need to take some time for self-reflection. Is he truly the man you want? Are you happy raising someone else's child? What role does his ex play in his son's life? Are you ready for the commitment of marriage?
Only you can answer these questions (unless there is something you aren't telling us). You may find it useful to see a therapist and explore more closely what you are feeling with a close friend or other professional. By taking a few moments now, you could save yourself years of heartbreak down the road. But when talking marriage, and with the feelings you are feeling, only a hard look in the mirror will firm your resolve or convince you to part ways.
Eddie
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2013): Hi there!
Its because of his actions.
Maybe different from his words.
That's why your not convinced.
he maybe showering you attention but there must be something to it, that makes you feel this way.
Figure it out.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (14 July 2013):
 I honestly think it was unfair of you to say YES to getting engaged if you are this uncertain of how you feel.
And I think it's more that YOU don't think YOU love him, then him loving you. You say you WANT to love him, well either you do or you don't. You can't pretend to love someone and be happy. Life doesn't work that way.
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