A
male
age
36-40,
*mcminn
writes:Dear Cupid, I have been with my girlfriend for just over 4.5 years.We have done everything together and even talked about engagment. Then 2 days ago just after Christmas we went to a family wedding. It went realy well she was happy having photos with me cuddeling ect. As we got back to drop her of she came out with. Shes sorry but its not working. She dussnt love me in the same way anymore and our love just isnt that strong.As you can imagine i was devostated, ive honestly not seen it coming. at forst i diddnt want to belive it asking why but all it seems to do it frustraite her more. she said its not me which i cant accept and it hurts so much as i dont know what went wrong.Shes said she dussnt know what she wants but shes not giving me another chance as she dussnt think things would improve. she also wants some space a week to relax.Any ideas? thank you
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Secretlife  +, writes (1 January 2011):
I'm sorry to hear that. I think she was seeing someone else while she was dating you. Did she explain to you, why te relationship isn't working? She only wants space so that the new man can come around. I know your heartbroken but you just have to move on and kee your head up high.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2011): I think there might be someone else. So i would wait that week to see what happens
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2011): Thank you. u make alot of sense she said she wants to be close friends but another prob is when she finds somone else ill be hurt all over again
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2011): Give her space. Hard as it seems, leave her be for now. Eventually you will be able to ask her why she decided to break with you and she might be able to give you the answers you deserve.
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A
male
reader, hobbsey76  +, writes (1 January 2011):
I was with my partner for the same amount of time. She went to Germany for a month and 2 days before she got back she broke up with me by email and I haven't seen her since.May I sk how old your partner was? Mine just turned 25 (I'm 34) and everyone I know over 30 thinks there is something very wrong with the younger generation, especially in females who are 25 and under. The attention span for investment has almost gone out the window and we think for two main reasons: 1) The iGeneration has it too easy to communicate and open new exciting doors, which means investment doesn't need to happen; 2) the pill is being used no longer as a contraceptive but to control periods from a very early age, so how can a hormonal-altering pill create anything but women who are confused and well no longer level headed? There' a massive amount of break-ups and divorces happening right now with the majority of it being women leaving men on a whim just becase they "don't want it" anymore, like relationships are just a fad thing. Christ, my parents went through far worse together but stuck it out to the end and that lasted 30 years! Imagine that happening now? Not likely.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2011): I really feel for you, because I went through almost the exact same thing. My ex decided that her feelings for me had changed even though I always treated her really well. I think it sounds like she doesn't know what she wants and perhaps she feels she has to break it off with you now to clarify her feelings since you two were heading towards marriage. I would just give her some space to think and just tell her that you still love her and that if there is something specific she is concerned about that you are open to talking to her about it. other than that, there is not much you can do. sometimes people just don't know what they want. or sometimes, people just change in a different direction than us. i don't think pressuring her to give you an answer will help since she seems like she is confused herself. i hope things work out for you.
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