A
female
age
41-50,
*ooster0793
writes:I Have been in a relationship for over 5 yrs with a woman that is 20 years older than me, I love her but I don't think i'm in love with her. I have a house and her family loves me but our mutual friend is someone that takes my breathe away...we,ve both tried to distance ourselves from each other but after 6 and 1/2 yrs we are still in love...Who should I pick...the woman that I promised to stay with or the woman that I am in love with...? Please help! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, NuVu +, writes (12 June 2007):
If this other person did exist where would you be now? Would you be in love and deeply committed to this person you've been with for the last 5 years? Or would you be looking elsewhere for love?
I hate that people are often in relationships that obviously need to end, but only have the courage to do it when they find someone else to cling on to. Is the relationship your in, one that needed to end? It doesn't sound like it from your description.
Keep in mind that the "in love" feeling you are talking about is just a feeling and feelings change all the time. And feelings are often stronger for those you can't have. However, true love is a verb. An action. Something you do every day. Hearts don't wander when they are focused on giving love.
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (12 June 2007):
 What do you mean by...... after six and a half years we are "still" in love. If you were in love all this time, what has the relationship with the older woman been about? In reality you've been cheating emotionally all this time. It's no wonder your feelings have shifted back and forth. It's possible you don't really understand what love/marriage truly is. Once again, the innocent party gets blindsided. The innocent spouse never stands a chance because half the time, they don't even realize they're in a battle.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2007): Definitely the woman that you are inlove with. I am a great believer in love and why would you stay with someone that you care for but not inlove with ? You would only be unhappy if you stay with the other woman and eventually you will become frustrated and things may not be good for you both, so I say end it now. Go with the person that you are inlove with. Good luck
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