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female
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*onfused person
writes: Please help me. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years since i was 15, he has been my first sexual partner as well.Im at college at the moment and have been for the past five years. There is this boy at college who has liked me from the start (September) and he asked for my number of my mate but she asked me and i had said no becasue i knew something would happen because i like him.Eventually my other friend gave him my number and he texted me and i texted back but it was general texting not him telling me how he feels. last week i went out with two girls from college for a girly night. But i said to the girls i didnt want him to go out as my boyfriend would not be happy about it as he does not like him any way as a month ago i said to my boyfriend i wanted to end i as i wanted to be single and that i thought i liked a boy at college. but me and my boyfriend gave it another go a month trail if you like.going back to when we went out, he was out in the end and i texted him saying i wanted to f**k him but then sent another text saying it wasn't me saying that it was my mate messing around.At the end of the night i purposly stayed with him and his mate which was a girl so i could be with him. closing time at the pubs and his friend went and we was alone chatting for an hour or so, nothing happened we was just flirting i.e cuddling i didnt kiss him at all. we got a taxi home and i said goodbye then texted him that night.over the weekend i couldt stop thinking about him and i said to my boyfriend i wanted to end it but we didnt and carried on.when i went back to college on the monday i seeen him cause we are in the same classes we texted each other after college and he said he wanted to ring me that night which he did and we chatted.the next day at college we kissed i felt guilty straight away and i told my boyfriend that i didnt want to see him that night as i felt ill, but it was because i couldnt face him, but then i went and met the boy from college.we kissed again and got freaky but i didnt sleep with him.on wednesday i told my boyfriend everything and said that i do really like the boy from college and we should end it which we did. the same day i seen the boy from college and we came close to sleeping together but i said no. yesterday i seen my boyfriend and he said to me if i want to give it another go i must not go back to college as it wouldnt work because he is there and i know what im like i would be easily influenced by him.I do only have five months at college left but the thing is i dont want to leave college and i think the reason is because of the boy and i am trying to deny it from myself.i need to make my mind up by saturday because my boyfriend is leaving and going up to Kent for a while and he said to me he doesnt want to forget me but it can easily happen if i do not chose him. i know what i have done is disgusting and he should not even be giving me a second chance, but my head is fifty fifty and i do not know what to do.i do realise that i could be making a big mistake chucking away everything i had with my boyfriend but i want to have fun with the boy at college and i dont know what to do.I feel physically sick not knowing what to do. please can someone give me advice especially if you are or was in the same position.many thanks.
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female
reader, dc13 +, writes (9 December 2005):
I think the answer it really clear, you need to end it once and for all with your boyfriend. How many times have you attempted to break up with him, but he keeps convincing you not too. I think the other guy is just an excuse to get away from a guy you've obviously grown out of. And what kind of guy wants you to give up finishing college? You met this guy when you were 15, you're a very different person now, you have a lot of time to meet the right person and to have a lasting relationship with them. It's time to move on, regardless of whether you start dating this new guy. I would end it once and for all and cut off contact with the ex at least for awhile, he has too much influence over you and you need to live your own life.
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