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Which girl should I pursue?

Tagged as: Dating, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 February 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 22 February 2010)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Which Girl Should I pursue?

Girl A

I been good friends with this one girl for a long time and we hang out like twice a week (burger king, houses) and we talk on the phone a lot. Only problem: she says she has a boyfriend who has been to jail and ALL of her friends tell her to break up with him. She also has a lot of issues with her parents and her boyfriend. He has gotten her in trouble before. I am frightened by that guy. I don't think she knows I would gladly go out with her.

Girl B

I have had a crush on this girl for two years but I don't know if she likes me at all. The only way I can talk to her is if I start the conversation. She never walks over to me to talk. I know this because for a month I didn't walk over to her to talk; she never even looked at me. But she doesn't seem annoyed by me. Sometimes we talk for a while but most times it's just an awkward conversation. In recent months our conversations have been longer and longer. In this time, now I know a lot about her and she knows a lot about me.

View related questions: crush, has a boyfriend, she has a boyfriend

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A male reader, The Realist Canada +, writes (22 February 2010):

The Realist agony auntGirl A is defintitly the better choice if you ignore the excess. I don't think girl B is interested cause I'm sure you would have noticed something by now.

So I'll continue on with girl A; now I don't know why the bf is in jail because depending on the charge that would determine how scared I was of him. If you are will to stand by her and there may be a restraining order necessary for this other guy then I think that you could be the one to help her through her difficulties which would make her love you more.

I say girl A, since I picture her the sweet girl with problems someone like her never deserved and you being the caring guy she needs in her life. I highly reccomend knowing the release date of her hopefully ex bf and if he tries anything with either one of you get the cops involved so that you can protect her too.

Best of luck to you, I would love to hear what you decide to do.

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A male reader, Burns231 United States +, writes (22 February 2010):

Ignoring the whole boyfriend in jail thing - does girl A show any interest in you like THAT (and I mean more than just a friend)? Because it does not sound like girl B does if you have to start the conversation every time.

I would say given the information here and if it were myself I would go for girl A because you already hang out and talk on the phone. Whereas girl B just does not seem to be interested, especially when you didn't go over to her and "she never even looked" at you for a month. But you may not want to completely X her name out yet.

But with girl A, since you don't think she knows you want to go out with her don't be too strong about bringing this issue up. Just talk to her and see if she is planning to break up with him, kinda beat around the bush so to speak (I think it would be better than the "break up with him" and then saying "go out with me" approach). If girl A is in your age range (16-17) then I would say be careful with that because girls that age have no idea what they want (at least in my experience) so don't be surprised if she plans on staying with him. So if things with girl A don't work (like she is planning to stay with him or has "friends zoned" you) then you could always try girl B. Just try to not make it look obvious that she is your second choice because no one likes to be second.

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