A
male
age
36-40,
*heaviator
writes:Hi, i am looking for advice. I am 24 years old and I am a virgin . I am a very social person I have no problems talking to women I actually like it. I'm not bad looking and I have a good job. If I were a girl I would say I'm a good catch. But for some reason it just isn't working for me. I am a kind of guy that won't sleep with a women just because I can. I have had plenty of opportunities, I either don't have any interest in the girls that I have had opportunities with or I simply chicken out. I really have no clue what to do with myself. It is so frustrating I am literally at a breaking point. I just want a girlfriend. Will being honest about my inexperience be helpful to my situation? No one but me knows I'm a virgin. How do I handle this situation. I know for a fact sex is important to women these days most the time more important than actually finding a good man (and I am one) sex really isn't terribly important to me. How do I find the girl I am looking for? Waiting is no longer an option for me
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2011): You're not alone. I have male friends I met online who are virgins(the oldest is 30)and are waiting for the right person to come along, even though it seems like that will never happen. But it will. It sounds cheesy, but you have to have some faith. You sound like a decent guy, and I think it's good that you haven't wasted your feelings and experiences on the wrong girls. It's kind of rare.I see nothing wrong with telling a potential girlfriend that you're a virgin. I'd wait until after you get to know her a little, however. If she has a problem with it, well, would you really want to be with her? The right person shouldn't have a problem with that. Virginity is nothing to be ashamed of. I don't get that attitude at all, actually. I'm a virgin too, and I can only speak for myself when I say that I'm only willing to date someone who is also a virgin. You're right, though, most women and men are very sex-driven, but there are more people like you than you know.Maybe you should try online dating, like OkCupid. Whatever you do, good luck!
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (24 October 2011):
 Get yourself onto an online dating site, take matters into your own hands if you are fed up of waiting. Because with finding love you have two choices - wait for love to come to you i.e. bumping into a great girl in a coffee shop, or second option - making it happen yourself i.e. go on an online dating site and message girls, go out as many nights each week to bars, clubs...wherever and talk to women.
I dont think telling girls right away that you are a virgin is a good idea - wait until you know them a lot better and you are sure she likes you. If a guy aged 24 (I'm 24 too) told me he was a virgin then, sorry to say this, I would wonder what is wrong with him. I wouldnt say it is a deal breaker and if I had been dating a guy for a while and I liked him then it wouldnt bother me. But I would think at the back of my mind why hasnt he been able to get a girlfriend in the past, I would wonder if you had any issues with women that have stopped you from being in relationships and that would be a worry.
So if you have been dating a girl for a while and it looks like you are going to sleep together, then tell her. But dont be upfront about it, there is no need and it will be off-putting.
Sex should be important to ANYONE looking for a relationship - a relationship without sex rarely works so of course it is important to us girls. What we are looking for is a good guy who is also good in bed - that is the holy grail! It is easy to find jerks who just want sex, and finding anything else is hard for us girls because often men lie and play games, pretending to want a relationship when really it is just sex they are after, so we fall for it and then end up left feeling stupid. But it is very rare for a girl to want sex more than a relationship - I think your perceptions of women are wrong there.
If you are simply asking where to meet women - all I can tell you is go out as much as you can and approach as many women as you can. Look at what your interests are, and then try and join clubs/socities etc that relate to your interests. If you really like for example running, then join a running club. If you try and turn your hobbies into social activities you are more likely to meet a girl that shares similar interests and that is a good start. Or online dating - that is probably the easiest and quickest way to meet women, and you get to vet them before you meet up which is helpful. You can tell a lot from an online dating profile and it can help you weed out the bad ones!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (24 October 2011):
 Waiting IS your only option. Your future girlfriend may be at this moment sipping on a cup of coffee reading a magazine. Or jogging through the park. Or chatting to a girlfriend about the upcoming Halloween party. Or wondering where YOU are. Relax, you two will find each other.
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