A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello there. American expat couple in Canada. Well, technically, I'm a Canadian as my mom's one but I never lived in Canada but we moved here 8 years ago. I'm an American to you, but have citizenship of both.Our relationship began as an LDR, then he moved in with me, that was 13 years ago it started, 8 years ago we moved in.I have this weird hybrid Canadian-Texan accent that I got bullied for as a kid.Wasn't popular with the boys in school for being quite tall and either too girly for them or too macho for them. I ain't a tomboy, but I was good at woodwork classes and other such things in the school I went to in the US. Some boys hated that I was good at woodwork and sport. Basically, he got into Canada because of me.But, onto the big question.My husband claims our sex life is too humdrum and doesn't know how to spice it up.At best he thought of buying British sexy lingerie from some luxury manufacturers online!Threesomes ain't something we're into, and he can't think of anything else, other than, maybe, going on vacation to England and having sex in Buckingham Palace if we can find somewhere to do so ! (He's always wanted to visit English royal things, been into it for years, and the Jubilee weekend in England highlighted this!).We've never wanted third parties involved in sex, aside maybe, for a doctor if there's sexual issues involved we can't solve.The interest he has in the royals comes and goes, depending on the news cycle.It isn't just sex he thinks is humdrum. Also our diet.He claims it's too humdrum, too samey even when I try to make new dishes.But, I feel our life's going well, it's not as boring or humdrum as he thinks. Where in a relationship do you think the point is that things become humdrum and also safe and dependable?I've only had three relationships before marrying him.Who's in the right and wrong here?Our relationship is open, no not in the sexual sense, but he can and does talk about anything. We can and do talk about most thigns no-holds barred.I feel like I don't know what to do for the best here or what the right solution is.Yes, I know you may think the sex in Buckingham Palace thing is weird, but he thinks it's a fantasy that'd be good in reality. I know some of you may think, oh, it's a troll posting that, but some people have much weirder sexual fantasies, is this tame by comparison? Is it odd for someone to be unsure how to deal with spicing up a relationship?Also, what would be realistic, achievable, cost-effective ways for us to spice up our relationship?Financially, we're in goodhealth, we've just been discussing with our accountant the state of things.In my opinion, the sex is quite good, he's romantic.But I don't know how to solve my problem.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2022): It's not too bad a fantasy but I assume he means in the decor of the Palace so why not make your own home into a place with opulent colours and cushions and lighting.
Then serve a royal meal and drink some royal mead and see if that puts him in a loving mood.
Spice up your life with lovely exotic goods and your idea of a regal lifestyle!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2022): He sounds to me that he wants to moan but is to lazy to actually think of anything he can do to spice things up .. I mean is going to England feasible? Is it something that become a reality or is it just a whinge to make you feel guilty over.
There plenty you can do .. go tun in the car park somewhere quiet ... or walk in the woods where noone can spot you both take a blanket lil picnic.. let the air and the beauty of nature do the rest ..
Seduce him when he comes in from work .. buy a maids outfit and help him out of his clothes on the hall ..
Try these.. if the dont work then he has the issue . Hugs
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2022): I am not going to help you masturbate and give you a sexual thrill by discussing having sex at Buckingham Palace, with royals etc. You can pay to ring those sex chat fantasy lines if you want someone to help you with that. Think it is two dollars a minute. They will be doing their ironing and yawning but pretending to be interested and trying to keep you talking for as long as possible so they can buy themselves a box of chocolates or if you chat for long enough a take away pizza.
If your meals are too samey cook different things. Learn them if you need to. Use you tube if you need inspiration and recipes and ideas - all instant and free and at home when it suits you. If you husband really thinks this get him to do it himself, he is the one complaining.
As for sex. Most couples are so into each other that they just tingle and excite each other by being together.
Once you get to the stage where having your beloved there does not excite you and you need fancy role play and clothes you have lost the yearning for each other and it goes down hill quick. That is where one or both want someone else.
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A
female
reader, EmmyApple  +, writes (7 June 2022):
Taking a trip to a romantic destination can help, but there are also many things you can do at home for free! You need to pleasantly surprise him. Get new lingerie and wear it around the house when you cook. When he’s laying on the couch watching TV, give him a surprise blowjob. I started doing that for my husband when he gets home from work and it’s worked wonders for our relationship! Finally, consider how using porn together can help spice up your sex life. It doesn’t need to be anything really weird or hardcore, but just watching something sexy together can work wonders. I put on something sexy for him when we get in bed and then I start pleasuring him as he gets hard. He has become so much more engaged and passionate. I resisted doing this for awhile because I felt like he should only be looking at my body - I didn’t want him watching other girls’ bodies in the videos. But the reality is that men get bored with one body after awhile and have a biological need for variety. I’d rather he fulfills that need this way - on the TV screen and together with me - than with another woman in real life. You have to change your mindset and prioritize what is best for his bodily needs. Lastly, this is hard to talk about as well, but watch your weight. It’s easy to get comfortable and let the extra pounds grow. It can happen so gradually we don’t even notice or we’re in denial. Especially if you are a stay at home wife like me. I was never sporty but I was in average shape before marriage, but I became really out of shape after marriage because of super sedentary living and just feeling so comfortable. From around 150 pounds at our wedding to over 200, but I was in denial for a long time about how big I was becoming. It depends on the guy but most guys are okay with a bit chubby but there’s a threshold where too much extra fat can really become a turn-off sexually. He probably won’t say anything because it’s such a sensitive topic. But if your body has changed since getting married, that’s normal, but that can also be a reason why he’s not as satisfied anymore. So consider how you can work on your body to keep him fully satisfied.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2022): I am an unmarried 14m virgin so I have limited experience but lots of opinions. So, here goes...
On food, pick a theme of the week and put a bunch of things in a box with names of types of food (chinese, thai, american burgers, indian, fried chicken, turkey and stuffing, mexican, whatever). Maybe that will help with variety.
If the royal thing is hot, get costumes. You can be the princess and he can be the prince. Role play. Not everyone would be into that, but if it helps you guys somehow, go for it I say. Or maybe one of you could be the royal and the other like serf slave. I am not good at this but you should be able to take it from there.
Good luck to you both.
Your friend, Calvin (alias)
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A
female
reader, RitaBrown  +, writes (6 June 2022):
There's that word "humdrum" again. My advice - by a thesaurus.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2022): You've got to hurry up then, since you will only able to visit Buckingham Palace from July 22 d to October 2nd this year, when the Royal Family is not around. ( It makes sense, right ? ) It may not be a weird fantasy but it is a dumb one .Do you teally think that you, or any visitor as for that, would be allowed to roam free , trying a door handle here another there, until you find your perfect sex nook ? What about the other dozens of tourists and visitors ? What about security people ,of which there are plenty both in official uniforms and in plain clothes? ( that makes sense too, they don't want that anybody may ,say, roll up one of the Queen's Canalettos and hide it under their shirt).
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