A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so my friend is tring to fix me up with her boyfrien's friend, I have agreed to meet with him so I did a week ago. Hes verry nice and has a good sense of humor wich i like but however I don't know much about him and I also don't find him extreamly attractive. Not that I find it verry important at first because I think personnality will affect someone's appearence greatly. Enywais, now my friend is telling to hurry up and make my dicision because he is verry sentimental and she doesnt want me to "play" him and hurt his feelings. I find it difficult to make a dicision so quickly because I haven't seen him since so I didn't get to know him more then I do now and I realy don't feel as tho I would be giving him false hopes. So I guess my question is what is the line between taking the time to know someone and "playing" with someones feeling? I mean we did talk via texts and we joke around and stuff but we never realy got into a conversation about relationship and he has already toled my friend that he was wasting his time because I havnt made a dicision.. What do I do?
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female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (31 May 2011):
 Look, you can't allow either this man or your friend to pressure you into making a decision! That's not reasonable.
You've met him in person just once (I personally don't set a lot of store "talking" by text, better to have a phone conversation until the next time you meet, at least). Not only that, but its MUCH too early to even be thinking of "relationship" talks. In fact, when you've been dating for several months, that's plenty early enough to have chat about your relationship/friendship.
As things stand, you can't really determine if after another couple dates you'll want to see him for a fourth time - or whether he'll want to see you, for that matter. Nothing wrong with that: it's part of the very beginning stages of getting to know one another and gaining some idea as to how compatible you'd be - whether as platonic friends, or potentially bf-gf.
Hopefully, you can meet him again, and focus on just enjoying yourselves, and see how a second date goes. Keep it light.......if he pressures you, then just say something to the effect that you think he's a nice guy (if in fact you do) and that you'd like to get better acquainted before making any decisions......good luck!
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