A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have read on here many times men saying women are insecure and overeacting to porn . They claim the man is not comparing his wife or girlfriend to the porn star and he is not getting aroused over another women but that he is aroused by the sight of what she is doing. Ok fair enough but my question is this. If the act is important and not the look of the woman, why does all mainstream porn ie that found in penthouse, hustler etc have women that never look like any wife ive met?I've never met a woman who has not one stretch mark, sag, wrinkle, pimple or anything. I've ever met a woman who never ages. Yet the women in porn nevr seem to show signs of the usual female especialy they never look like they have had babies. So if the act is what matters and they really don't hold these women as the ideal , why is this? Why do their fantasies involve women who are so different to their wives so often?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2009): Yeah it is both, we're looking at the woman and the act.
Why do we look at women that are different from our wives? because it's fantasy, the same as why some women get so worked up about Robert Pattison or Brad Pitt.
I'm all for seeing un-airbrushed natural women but that's not the world we live in, when they make movies or animation you don't see them drawing on cellulite onto the lead female characters or show them going to the toilet.
The difference between men and women as regards fantasy though, is that generally men don't compare our wives/girlfriends to stars we find attractive, whereas women in my experience do. Women seem not only to compare us to their celebrity crushes but also compare themselves to ours (this includes porn stars)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2009): I agree that it's both. I think it's partly seeing the sex and partly seeing the girls. If you have a favorite food or a favorite pair of shoes that doesn't mean you might never want to try another for a night. You probably love your BF, and yet you might still be enjoying watching some hot guy in a chick-flick seducing the female star. In that sense porn can be like visually throwing another woman's body into the mix. We get a kick out of seeing something new even if we never lay a hand on it. I don't want those girls in real life. Trust me about this. I might like looking at some of them (and I know they're fake and retouched) but I know that people with unhealthy sexual/emotional backgrounds are very common in porn.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2009): I don't find porn women attractive at all, the aesthetic is not to my taste. And for me sex is not a spectator sport- it is boring to watch, much more interesting to play (kinda like soccer, or many other sports for me). I don't get anything out of porn so I never watch it. I have had very fulfilling relationships, casual, sexual, intimate, long term and short, with all sorts of beautiful women of all shapes, sizes, and body types. But some men for whatever reason do not find all of their needs satisfied by real life relationships, either because they are socially undeveloped, or the type of man who craves variety of sex partners but doesn't want to leave the relationship he is in to get it, or because they like the uncomplicated sexual interaction of porn (or strippers in some cases) because they do not want to be vulnerable to a woman who they cannot turn off with a push of a button. My friends who watch it tend to idealise that porn star aesthetic, and they certainly seem interested in the women's bodies and not just the acts. I can't really explain why they can't seem to find the same sexual satisfaction from real women, girlfriends, wives, etc. I have listed some hypotheses up there but it's mostly speculation. If you ask one of my friends he'll probably not want to give you much of an explanation, because it is so taken for granted that men will watch and enjoy porn star bodies, so there doesn't seem to be much of a need for explanation. My friends are certainly emotionally closed off, "macho" types, and watching porn allows them unmitigated sexual satisfaction without the additional demand of pleasing a woman in real life. The cartoon qualities of the actresses bodies probably adds to the enjoyment because it makes it completely detached from their real sexual experiences and the women they have met in the flesh. They want the women to look as unreal as possible because it lets them forget that they ARE real. They can project their own ideals and fantasies onto women who have been airbrushed or plastic surgeried into oblivion. It does make me sad to some extent because many of my friends I think could have much more fulfilling relationships with their real life girlfriends if they stopped seeking the cheap thrills of pornography, but I understand it's a choice every man makes for himself and for some they can find a suitable balance. It's rare to find though, seeking porn stars inevitably points to some level of dissatisfaction with real life relations. They are filling a gap that probably wouldn't be there in the first place if they could connect on deeper levels to the women they love. At the very least, men who have good relations with real women may seek porn with more "realistic" bodies instead of avoiding the bare truth of female bodies- they have cellulite, stretch marks, flabby bits, hair, etc. I find all of these things beautiful and interesting. I think if I had been raised on pornography, I might have a harder time embracing all the beauty of a real woman's body. I only explored it for a brief time in my late teens. I never grasped the sexual appeal, but then by that time I was already sexually active. Perhaps it's something borne out of sexual frustration of adolescence that many men carry off into adulthood. Personally I think porn inhibits sexuality rather than releases it. True sexual liberation is the ability to define for oneself what is arousing, sexy, beautiful, and unleashing your personal creativity.
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A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (23 December 2009):
 Its because the women in porn magazines are air-brushed. You can learn more about that by typing it Into google.
If you look at porn from the early sixties, seventies and even eighties. You will notice gradual change. The whole airbrushing thing actually originated from the fashion world and from the computers that allow it to be done. Almost every single model in a magizine these days have been airbrushed.
This is also the reason why people create I securities about themselves, because they find it hard to look like those people in magazines. If you actually saw one of those models in real life you would be amaized at how normal they actully look. It's really unreListic and used purley for advertising and marketing presentation reasons.
Television has a similar approach where they use special makup for motion video/film cameras. And creates the same or similar effect.
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