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When he phones me, I am so nervous I can't answer the phone! What can I do?

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Question - (8 August 2006) 2 Answers - (Newest, 9 August 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

i like this boy but when he rings me i cant answer the phone because i get really nervous and then not sure what to say when i do. it goes quiet then i put the phone down. what can i do?

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A female reader, helpful girl United Kingdom +, writes (9 August 2006):

helpful girl agony auntyou could try conversations like hows your day been then hell reply the same queation then you tell him everything youve been up to. then ask what hes up to later how his been. basically obvously you talk to your friends on the phone well its the same as talking to him even the same conversation you can have! try writting a few questions down on a peice of paper that you can ask him on the phone then next time he rings look at the peice of paper and ask him the questions youve write down!

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A female reader, Bev Conolly Australia +, writes (9 August 2006):

Bev Conolly agony auntIt's normal to be self-conscious when someone you like rings you, but try to think of it from his point of view. He rings to talk to a girl he likes, and all he gets is embarrassed silence!

Try writing some things down on a piece of paper and take it with you to the phone. Write some questions that you might ask him, like what he did that afternoon, what his plans are for the weekend, whether he heard about (insert your local gossip here), if he watched (insert TV program here), if he's playing (insert sport) next weekend. Or whatever.

It's much easier to think when you're just sitting quietly with a pad and a pen, so do your thinking then. That way, when he rings, you can say Hello, and you'll have some back-up comments to make if things get strained.

I don't mean to suggest that you need some sort of "script" to read, but just a few notes to remind you of things you'd like to say or talk with him about.

And if you really can't do that, then next time you talk to him just be honest, and tell him that you're not very good on the phone and you'd rather meet him, or text, or see him at school, or whatever feels comfortable to you.

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