A
male
age
41-50,
*aphael1
writes:I feel very guilty. I'm quite neurotic and so the fact that this 30-year-old woman I've been seeing might be going back to her country in a few months time is making me draw away from her mentally. Worried of getting too attached to her and I know I'm not one for long distance relationships. Can't bring myself to fully enjoy the time we have together and have even started exchanging emails with someone else I met online through a classifeds ad I placed. Feel bad about it because the first woman keeps giving me stuff and being affectionate even though I try and refuse gifts and try to give her gifts too to balance things out. Just scared to tell her we might be better off being just friends as 1) she doesn't have many other friends here and this might depress her 2)the other person might not want to be more than friends too after we've met and breaking off with the first one prematurely might backfire on me.Hate the lying and feeling of guilt and try and rationalise my present actions to make myself feel better but would appreciate nay concrete advice that could lead to a plan of action. Thanks in advance for your support.
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male
reader, raphael1 +, writes (9 January 2009):
raphael1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys. Gonna summon the courage and do it soon.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2009): Hi - I am in your girl's shoes and my ex-date first pulled away (knowing I would be moving away) and then started hanging out with another girl from work to detach himself from me. I can tell you that she will sense your intentions whether you tell her or not. It's not easy on either one of you to separate I bet, but if you want to keep her as a friend and/or see a relationship potential in the future, I would talk to her about what you wrote here. She was honest with you after all letting you know of her plans, etc. On the other hand you might have regrets in the future once she is gone. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, angelbbabe7490 +, writes (8 January 2009):
 Alright, so you said it yourself. You are scared of getting too attached to someone who might end up being a long distance away from you. If you truly are a friend of hers you can tell her straight up that you are scared to commit to a long distance realtionship. Tell her your true feelings, so that maybe you can both come to an agreement. There is nothing wrong with still being friends with her as long as you both have an understanding with each other. Communication is always important. You do not have to tell her about this other woman because it seems almost harmless, but you do have to tell her how you feel about the situation you are in. Good luck and I hope everything turns out to be okay!
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