A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Online dating question!When do you take off your online dating profile? !I have had two great dates with a guy I met online but notice he is CONSTANTLY on the dating site! I know it is very very early days but I still notice. Yes I have logged in just to check. My bad.If I am online he emails me to say hello but doesn't text. He just communicates via the website. He said he has the site on his laptop and always open. Recently Ive logged in and he hasn't said hello to me! Even though we have a third date planned in 3 days time.So guys and gals when do you take your online profile off? What is the etiquette?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (16 October 2013):
 I think you need to chill. JUST a little. Or you will go nuts before you two are even properly an "item".
My take on it. Once you two have had enough dates to decide to be exclusive, you can TALK about deleting your date-profile. Some people wait 3-6 months, others as soon at they decide on exclusivity.
The fact though that you already spy on him, seems a little odd to me. But then again MAYBE that is why HE LOGS in too, to see if you are are still active.
Also, just because you are BOTH on at the same time doesn't mean he OWES you a conversation or you OWE him one. Might actually be nice to save the talking for the dates.
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (16 October 2013):
There really isn’t one. That’s why on-line dating is such a minefield. IT may be best for the two of you not to communicate via the site though so you don’t give each other that reason to keep logging in. The trouble is, neither of you are doing anything wrong but the problem arises where some-one’s continued presence on a dating site causes insecurity in the other person, or they believe that removing the profile signifies a degree of commitment and you can’t move things along until that’s ticked off.
I suggest unless the relationship becomes more serious, you don’t worry about it for a couple more dates. Then you may perhaps casually mention to him that you’re thinking of hiding your profile for a bit. Some dating sites give you this option: you don’t delete your profile, you can hide it from view. Have a look at the settings and options on the site you use. Say you’re keen to be invisible on there for a bit, and this may lead to a conversation with him about it. If there’s no hide setting, say you’re not planning to log in for a bit.
This isn’t to trip him up or catch him out, it’s just a way to introduce the topic and allow you to find out what approach he takes with the site. This will just enable you to understand where he’s coming from, hopefully so this won’t be an issue playing on your mind.
Ultimately when there’s not a historical precedent to tell us what the etiquette is, we have to just get in to discovering each other’s viewpoints on subjects like this.
I wish you all the very best.
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