A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:A few weeks ago, one of my friends who I known for over 20 years committed suicide. This week, I found out that my best friends 15 years old daughter's cancer returned (she been in remission for three years). I am very worried about her. I have been having nightmares for the past few nights that she died. Due to the nightmares, I have only gotten a few hours of sleep in a few days.So with these two events and the stress of the coronavirus pandemic, I have been extremely depressed. If I need it, how is the best way to find a therapist to talk to about depression?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2020): Do not blame yourself.You have every right to be sad and a little traumatized.That does not necessarily mean you have deppression.I think the best thing you can do is join a support group and work out you feelings and realize that what you have been though gives you the right to feel down.Sometimes in life you do feel down.Guess what? That means you are normal.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2020): Your primary care physician will offer you some referrals; and you may need to do a provider search through the lists given on your health plan.
If you follow a faith and worship; don't leave that out of your search for help and comfort. You don't only need to take care of the mind and body; but the soul and spirit gets sick or exhausted too.
Our Creator waits for us to call on Him, and He is always willing to give you peace and comfort. If you are an unbeliever, or agnostic; you can still seek prayer and solace with a friend who practices faith, prayer, and worship. Don't fear they'll overwhelm your with preaching or try to convert you; God works through those of us who serve Him to help those who are down-hearted, grieved, and broken.
Whether you are a believer or unbeliever; I will say a prayer over your post, that the Lord brings you peace and comfort. I extend that to you and your loved-ones; you have seen and experienced so much in such a short span of time.
Believer or unbeliever, may His peace and mercy rest on you. May you find a wonderful therapist, gifted and highly qualified. May you regain your strength in spirit, and find your joy. God bless and keep you, my friend.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2020): I'm sorry to hear about your problems. I can imagine how you feel because I have been going through something similar.I have been helped my a therapist. She is a shrink, so she can write prescriptions, but I looked for someone to "talk it out" with. For me the best combination is to work with someone who is a doctor but who also practices psychotherapy and not just "prescription-therapy".Sometimes we do need meds, but before using them, unless the situation really calls for them, it's best to try different approaches. If, however, a shrink decides to put you on meds (antidepressants, anti-anxiety...) it's to give you time to be able to do the actual work. For me the cognitive-behavioral approach worked best with mindfulness (google it).The best way to find a therapist is to educate yourself on the type of therapy and decide which ones you can relate to before asking your doctor if they could recommend someone. You can always check on the internet.So, the key is to find a kind of therapy you think might work for you and then take into account the location of a therapist and expenses. You would want to find someone whom you can afford and whose location is ok for you. Therapy is about persistence and since we tend to find reasons to avoid it when things get a bit uncomfortable (before they get better), it's imperative that we do not give ourselves "good reasons" to give it up. A few of my friends have done just that. The moment certain touchy subjects came into focus, they stopped going.Cognitive-behavioral (with mindfulness techniques) works for me because I was looking for an inclusive approach. I tried the classical psychotherapy (Freudian) and it was interesting. But it's the kind of thing you see in the movies, people who go weekly for decades to see their shrinks. Woody Allen thing. I preferred a more concrete approach, understanding how (my) mind works, how feelings come about, how to learn to recognize patterns and automatic thoughts and behaviors... and learn skills and coping strategies. I also started reading a lot about (and practicing) meditation techniques. We all take our minds for granted, but we do much better when we learn about how they work so that we could use them better. It really does get better. You have made the first step in recognizing you had a problem and asking for help. Hang in there!
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (22 October 2020):
 Oh, sweetness. I'm so sorry that you're going through all of this. You can certainly go through your doctor. You can also just go onto Google and look up (your town) (therapists) and it will usually give you a list of folks who you can call and see if they're a good fit.
This day in age, there are also a lot of online options for you. I don't know much about all that, I've never tried online therapy myself - but I do know that it's available. I would always recommend having a real person in front of you - but if you're feeling nervous or shy, maybe starting online would be a first step?
I am very proud of you for looking for help. Some people are hesitant to reach out when life is getting overwhelming. I'm proud that you're taking care of yourself and finding guidance. Ain't no shame in that game. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (22 October 2020):
 I'd go through your doctor. They can recommend a few different options then you pick one and call to book an appointment.
First visit will probably be a basic questionnaire.
And mind you, not all counselors can prescribe meds, some focus on finding the root issues and talk the through.
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