A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 16 year old girl and i've been in a relationship with my boyfriend (who is also 16) for over a month now. Our relationship is going quite well and we like each other a lot and we both think our relationship is getting quite serious. My problem is that my boyfriend feels that it's time I tell my parents about my relationship with him and i agree but I'm terrified about how they will react towards this. My parents are very over protective and strict and I seem to already know what they will say or do which is stressing me out. They feel as though I'm still a young girl who shouldn't be thinking about boys or being in a relationship but they just don't understand that I'm growing up and every girl experiences different feelings towards boys. Last time, I got caught talking to one boy who i like by over texting him and they found out by my phone bill. My mum, dad and my brother were really angry and disappointed that my dad brought me on my knees crying and he was about to smash my phone apart. That's how major it is for them and I'm so scared of how they will react when I tell them I'm in a serious relationship. I don't know what to do and I'm stressing out everyday, please tell me what I should do because my boyfriend is getting fustrated and he says it wouldn't work if I don't tell them.
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male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (7 December 2010):
 Tennisstar88 has already given you magnificent options to consider. I would also ask that you think deeply about just how strongly you feel about this boy. Is it truly worth it? After all, your family are trying to take care of you and while I am doubtful of their methods, I understand their intentions. You clearly understand that by now as well so just think, are they right to feel this way? Do you think he is good enough for you right now? You are still growing and changing, are you absolutely certain that your feelings for him will not change as you grow older?
Just be sure that you feel strongly enough about him to reveal this relationship to your family. You do not want to lose either of them so, think for a while and when you are ready, make a decision. If you feel strongly enough about him, you should tell your family and stick by him because they really do not have a right to fully dictate when you are dating. Legally of course, it is their right I suppose but morally it is wrong because they expect you to suffer through a heartache, do they really not expect you to never rebel emotionally?
I hope that helps.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (7 December 2010):
 DId they set a certain age at which you're allowed to date? Mine was 16. I understand that your family is extremely protective over their little girl, really they're just looking out for your best interest and trying to protect you from the bad. Then again, the only way you're going to learn anything is to experience it for yourself.
Now, I already know that if you tell them you are in a relationship your father is going to blow a fuse. So let's set that issue aside for now. First, talk to your parents about your interest in boys. You feel that since you're 16, of legal age, able to get her driving license, you should have a little more leeway when it comes to boys. Assure them that you understand the risks behind having sex, STDs, pregnancy, but you don't know what boys are really like and won't know until you gain some experience. I.E they break down and let you date. Leave the fact, that you have a boyfriend out of the conversation. That's already under minding them, which won't convince them to let you date.
If they knock the idea, and tell you "No, not until you're 18." Then their house, their rules. As long as you live under their roof, you will have to abide by them to avoid your home life being a war zone. I suggest you break it off with your boyfriend, seeing as you're not allowed to date and they will find out about him. Or your boyfriend will break it off because he's tired of sneaking around. (I've been there) Your last option in order to get what you want, is to move out. That is if you have the finances and a decent job to move out and get your own flat.
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