A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Aunts, I was talking to one of my (male) workmates the other the day when I noticed that he kept staring at my chest then flicking his gaze back up to my eyes for a moment. Its not like my breasts are large or I had a low-cut top on. What would be the best way to deal with this situation? It happens quite often and makes me uncomfortable. We've worked together for years and get on well.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2009): If you know the guy well enough then maybe you can bring it up. "Hey, are you starting at my boobs?" Say it with mild amusement but try not to put him on the defensive too much. Hopefully you can say it so he feels like you caught him at it, but he doesn't feel totally shamed for doing something socially horrible. He might really not mean to make it obvious but he doesn't realize that he's making it obvious anyway.
I had to make a bit of a mental effort not to stare at girls boobs when I hit adolescence. The staring was definitely what came naturally. It was the looking in the eyes that took mental effort because I always felt like the girl could see how much I liked her. I felt embarrassed when I looked her in the eye too much and the boobs ended up being the next convenient target near her face. I had to concentrate on staying eye to eye for a while.
Part of the problem is that men don't always make eye contact as much as women during conversations to begin with. Even when talking to other men. If you are comparing his amount of eye contact to what you would expect from yourself or another woman then he's probably gonna come up short normally anyway.
A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (24 October 2009):
 Unfortunately its a fact of life that some guys do just stare at your boobs when talking to you.
At my work place I can name at least one guy who looks mostly at the girls boobs when she is talking to him and yes its uncomfortable but you could prehaps delibrately hold a file infront of your chest when talking to him so his gaze doesnt fall there.
Or you could mention it to him.
Hope this helps!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2009): Well watch his body langauge does he like you? Can you guys date? Do you want to sleep with him? Just grab both your boobs and say the girls are looking good today arent they and he will never do it again. Or just stare at his penis when he looks at your boobs, just match whatever he does hold your ground, its just a game, hes a guy, who cares, they think about sex all day. men stare at me and my big boobs all day long, I am flatered, I am married and have a kid and 40 but If a guy wants to check out my body. go for it ,who cares. . when you reach 60 no one will be looking at your boobs anymore anyway so be young. Its not a big deal..
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