A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend rarely calls me by name...he has many, many nicknames for me. One day, he saw me with hair beyond poofy and he grins, and calls me a little llama :p Stuff like that...he only says my real name when in public...still rare. Why? I also have to ask: is he "attached" to me? He calls me twice a day though we both work, picks me up from work if I'm taking the bus (45mns away from him) and helps me with almost everything. I think I love him, I dream about having his child. But, I don't want to tell him that...I think he's scared of love and scared of having a child. I'll never force those factors... After 10 months, I still can't be sure if it's his kind nature or something else. What do you think? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 January 2011):
 To me it sounds like you are worrying over nothing here, there is nothing in what you wrote that would suggest that he is not interested. To me you just described someone who sounds like a great boyfriend and you should be happy and not over analyse everything he does. Many girls love being called pet names and ringing you twice a day shows that he cares about you.
As for wanting children with him its only been ten months i wouldnt mention it to him now as it is a bit soon and you may scare him. Before anyone should think about having children they should look in to moving in together for at least a year to see how they get on living with each other. But if you feel like he shys away from commitment and love then talk to him about it and ask him how he feels. Goodluck.
A
female
reader, ninja26 +, writes (3 January 2011):
 ok, well the important thing is how you feel about the nick names! if he calls you one you really hate, tell him. dont jsut let it go on, ya know! and i think if you want to get on a higher level with this guy you need to talk to him about how you feel! try hinting to him if you want to! hope that helps?!
...............................
A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (3 January 2011):
 hi
i think pet names are a sign of affection, but he still has the respect for you to use your proper name in public. he sounds like he is definitely attached to you coz he is looking after you by giving you lifts and helping you and the twice daily phone calls are also a good sign. 10 months is still early days to seriously consider having a child with someone but daydreams are nice so just make sure you use contraception for the time being to avoid that dream becoming a reality too soon! if you don't wanna be the first one to say i love you (i'm getting from what you write that he hasn't said it to you yet?) then just make sure that you treat him nice, show him caring and respect and look after him and he'll get the message
xx
...............................
A
female
reader, BettyBoup +, writes (3 January 2011):
 He sounds like a sweetie. He calls you sweet names because you have a special place in his heart. You are more than (insert your real name)to him, you are his girlfriend, his little llama, his angel etc etc. Why does he call you all these nicknames? It is because he thinks of you affectionatly. Such nicknames are a term of affection, something people only share with people they are really close to. He probably likes to call you these thinks, he may think you like it and that it's normal to call his girl such things. I rarly call my boyfriend by his real name, it can feel awkward to do so even. I call him baby coz he's my baby. Corny I know! If you'd rather he called you by your real name in public, for example, why not ask him to as nicely as possible? Be aware he may feel ashamed or awkward if he thinks you have found his name calling embarracing though. Maybe just start a conversation to find out why he never calls you by your real name. Say you'd like him to sometimes.
Is he attached? Only he can judge that. But it sounds like you mean a lot to him. He calls you sweet names, calls you twice a day, picks you up from work, helps you with anything. He sounds wonderful! If he's not 100% attached and ready to jump into marriage and babies with you after 10 months, that is nothing to worry about. It is much better to take things slow so you can be sure you are right for each other in the long, long term. Marriage is supposed to be for life, and babies certainly are. Also remember a lot of young guys are afraid of having babies and getting married. Such things bring them closer to adulthood, middle age, old age and then the inevitable. That's scary! Plus it's a big responsibility. Such things should not be rushed into. Why not take things easy and just try to enjoy each other's company, enjoy being young lovers and see how the relationship develops.
10 months isn't a huge length of time but at the same time it's considerable, so he must have feelings for you, even if he has not said he loves you. His actions certainly show he cares about you and wants you to continue to be his girlfriend. He's a lot more considerate than a lot of guys out there.
When he does tell you he loves you and exactly what you mean to him, you will know he means it and you will know he's for keeps. I kn ow guys can find it hard to express their love. They are supposed to be tough. This can make you doubt their feelings, I've been through this. But if the relationship is as you describe most of the time, if you care for him and if there are no problems then I'd say you have nothing to worry about. He sounds like a keeper so far, but only time can tell you if he really is.
Good luck.
...............................
|
