A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my friends mom died two years ago today and I feel like I should get them something. they are two brothers, 15 and 17, and I want to let them know I'm thinking of them. I was gonna get a card and a cookie cake and a gift card for them to go out to dinner but I feel like I should get them something more, I love them so much any suggestions? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, advicegem +, writes (24 June 2009):
 Honestly, I wouldn't do the cake and gift card. This is the anniversary of their mother's death... it is better to take their mind off it, such as your dinner idea, or go out for a movie, and if their mom comes up, embrace that conversation and remember the good times. You could also ask them if they'd like to do something, but not specifically mention the reason... for example, if it's coming up on a Saturday, sensitively ask them if they'd like you to take them out on Saturday. No need to mention the reason as I am sure they are aware and the fact that you are bringing it up will show them you are remembering too. This way if they want to talk about it or do something differently, they can tell you.
I think it would be better to do gifts etc on her birthday as that is more a celebration of her life...
It may just be me, but I think I wouldn't react well to being given a gift for the anniversary of my mother's death.
Just be there for them and they will know that you know and care about them.
A
female
reader, xxbaybeegal  +, writes (24 June 2009):
 To be honest you don't need to buy them a gift, because their mom died not celebrated her birthday. Maybe a sympathy card and maybe some money slipped inside it would be good.
Good Luck.
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