A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating a man off and on for 10 yrs. We have a 5 yr old son. we were recently apart for a yr and a half and met new people, dated others, i grew to travel and play poker, and he has stayed the same. Hanging out with bad people, drinking etc.He got a new g/f and i went into a bad depression and we decided to get back together. We have been working on things for about 3 months and nothing has changed.. we fight and he still does everything he use to, but claims hes faithful, will change,do anything for me and loves me.I have a guard up that i cant seem to break from past and recent issues cause everytime i think things are good something happens. my heart kills at the thought of us not being together, i really dont want that depression to return, but my gut says i'm more successful and have a better future.. in time.. possibly without him and im dragging this along and it must end. I either have to let him go or continue the 10 yr battle.... i have no idea what i should do.. advice?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2011): "i have no idea what i should do." Do what's best for your five-year-old (remember him?); better yet, let your son
decide that for himself since you obviously have no clue.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (28 December 2011):
 I know this may sound like superficial and obvious advice but, well, a 10 years battle where nothing ever really changes is a LOST battle. Why even keeping it going. I mean, if it were a matter of seeking the cure for cancer, or the recipe for peace on earth, yeah sure, never give up, no matter what. But ...for a guy ? Any kind of guy.. ? And particularly one that you have been always only dating ON and OFF , which surely does not show a deepness of connection and a seriousness of intents on either side.
At some point you have to draw the line and turn your energies into something more fruitful, and I'd say you have amply reached that point.
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