A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I usually have a good sex life and If we fall into a routine will try new things (to an extent!)... But every few months he decides that I'm not putting enough effort into things (when I go on top) and he stops and lies there and says 'show me what you've got' or 'your turn'. Under these circumstances I just freeze up and don't know what to do. He just gets more and more frustrated because I'm not doing anything and the angrier he gets the more awkward I feel and i just physically can't do anything.Last time this happened (a few months ago) I did try harder and I thought because he didn't mention it that this was okay, but this time we haven't had sex in weeks because he says he is 'waiting for me to show him my new skills'. I've read about things I could do on top but it sounds like the things I've tried already and I don't think I was very good at it. I'm too scared to initiate sex now because I think it'll be all up to me and I'm just not comfortable or confident with that. What should I do to get our sex life back on track?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2010): first talk to him and tell him that you are trying to understand your physical qualities you cna put into sex to pleasure him more
also a tip to mkae him really want you more is, pretend like you don't want sex, if he kisses you and makes you feel like he wants sex pull away and walk away, he will want you more
but when yoru on top one thing to do that drives my boyfriend wild would be leaving your body free, don't tense up and just ride, and make him know that your confident thats the best thing to do is ot become confident
good luck:)
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (12 May 2010):
 I am tensing up already when I read that he got angry and as a result you felt awkward. I understand a man wants a woman to take charge sometimes, but getting angry? He sounds like he has issues. Any sex act should feel natural and effortless to you. If a guy made me feel like I am inadequate that would be very hurtful for me and my reaction would be to hide and cry and never see him again. Honestly I never get any complaints from men and I will assume this is only his problem and not yours. His attitude about sex says a lot on his mind. He's resenting life right now. Nothing you do would ever be good enough. Stop trying to please him. When you are with the right person you feel like the best lovers in the world. So to answer your question you can't get it back on track because you are not with the right person.
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A
male
reader, alex74  +, writes (12 May 2010):
 Switch tracks and find a new boyfriend. Why is it all on you? What is he doing to please you? He should be happy and flattered that a real live girl wants to satisfy him. Now he has put a great deal of pressure on you and made you insecure about your "skills and abilities". Go find a less self-centered and more caring boyfriend.
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