A
male
age
36-40,
*man25
writes:Okay here's the situation.I've been hanging out with this girl. She usually comes with a friend or I see her out in public. She's part of my crew, click, etc... So I see her frequently.Well, recently she seems to have gotten a crush on me. We all go bowling once a week.. and it turns out that last week no one showed up to go bowling except for me, her, and another couple. I'm hanging out and having a good time. There's a little tension and chemistry. She's mostly talking to people around her. I'm just having fun hanging out. WELL, I see this other girl who I happened to be interested in. I go talk to her and get her number and set up a date not knowing that the previous girl had told my buddy's girlfriend that she is interested in me. So, I was oblivious to what was really going on. I saw her a few days later and it was clear that she was interested. Well, I kinda blew the mood. I felt like I was rejecting by freezing up and hesitating with her b/c I didn't know what to do about the situation. I would feel more comfortable on a date so I was more reluctant to make moves. I think she may feel a little rejected now.I'm having a hard time changing the mood and the feelings between us.How do I recover this? I was thinking of just calling her up and being like... Hey, if I had known you were interested in me I would have never asked that girl out.. I just never thought this girl would be into me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): Oops! Sorry for the dupe.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): Why not go ahead and ask her out? You had nothing other than a friendly relationship before, so why would it be a problem to ask her for a date? The bowling thing was not a date with her. She should not have read it as such, and probably did not. You have no commitments anywhere, so just give it a little while and ask her out. What is the worst than can happen? She says no. End of problem.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): Why not go ahead and ask her out? You had nothing other than a friendly relationship before, so why would it be a problem to ask her for a date? The bowling thing was not a date with her. She should not have read it as such, and probably did not. You have no commitments anywhere, so just give it a little while and ask her out. What is the worst than can happen? She says no.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): Do you like this girl back? It's just in your question, you never mentioned having feelings for her until you discovered she was interested in you.
If you aren't interested in her, I think it might be a bit awkward at first. But maybe you could just explain to her that, while you like her a lot, you are more comfortable just being friends. And if you do start seeing this other girl, just don't display it in front of her. She'll probably move on after a while, and things will go back to normal between you.
But if you DO like her, then what you are thinking of saying to her sounds fine to me. But let the other girl know, so the situation doesn't get confusing!
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (9 June 2009):
What I'm getting from this is that the feelings are mutual? You're interested in her also?
If you are interested in her and want to take her out, then yes, call her and tell her. She would probably be blown away. If you're not that interested in her and would rather date the other girl, then don't. The last thing you want to do is play with her emotions.
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