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What should I do: get over it or let him know how I feel?

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Question - (29 December 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 31 December 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

SORRY ITS SO LONG!

this is the background story:

okay, so over the summer my group of guy friends kind of merged with this other group of boys. i had hung out with them before but i didnt really know all of them too well. one of them (joe*) is the brother of my brothers best friend so when he started coming around it wasnt weird at all because i knew him. we started talking and flirting, only in person though, and eventually he told his friend that he liked me. joe then asked me to the homecoming dance and i said yes and he had a party after the dance at his house. i ended up sleeping there and in the middle of the night when everyone was sleeping, joe hooked up with another girl. they were the only ones awake so no one saw but about a week later, the other girl felt guilty and told me what happened. but before she told me HE ACTED LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED!!!

i confronted him about it and made him feel like shit but we stayed civil for the sake of our friends. it really hurt me because he led me on for so long and i still had feelings for him but i didnt want to.

then over thanksgiving break i had a party and let him come. me and my friend her boyfriend and joe were all sitting at my table and he started joking around and flirting with me and saying how much he missed me. and in front of them he apologized and said how bad he still feels about it all. i accepted his appology then left the table to get something. when i came back he was gone and my friends told me how joe was saying how he liked me so much and he would always like me, like never get over it, and how he wants me, all of me, and not just to get some ass but for me to be HIS girlfriend and no one elses. he also managed to tell the entire party that he liked me including his sister and my protective brother who is good friends with joe.

this was a lot to take in so for the rest of the night me and joe just talked and hung out because i was still being cautious around him then we started texting sort of but HE IS THE MOST DIFFICULT TEXER EVER! it is so hard holding a conversation with him so i stopped texting him. then finally he started texting me first but still impossible to talk. i vented my feelings to my girlfriend and she talked to him about it.

he told her how he is so scared to talk to me and doesnt want to mess anything up and if he did he wouldnt be able to live with himself. he is also really scared of starting anything with me because hes afraid he'd cheat on me.

i've tried to be flirty around him and get the point accross that i really do like him back but recently he has started pulling back and i think its because he hasnt gotten any verbal/obvious reassurance from me. im so scared he has changed his mind but i dont no if im too late or not? what should i do? how should i tell him? he is so difficult to talk to period and he has also been hurt a lot too! just please help!??

View related questions: best friend, flirt, period, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2009):

ok here we go!

i read ur story and have been in that position before.

my best advice would be to let him come to you, dont be too pushy, but at the same time tell him that youll teach him how not to hurt you and tell him how you really feel about him. be very blunt and re-assure him that you wouldnt do anything to hurt him either. tell him that you care for him too much to have to let him slip away and that you guys can start off slow and see where it goes. just make sure that you always tell him about how much he means to you, but try not to be needy about it, understand? By the way, when you get older, you'll grow to understand more of what to do when it comes to relationships, remember that nobody is perfect, and always take it slow. Make sure that you don't let your entire guard down and for the "just incase" theory. Try to prepare yourself for any possible disappointment, whether in this relationship that youll have or in the next. Also, ALWAYS remember that females mature at a much quicker pace then males, so make sure the both of you are at the same mindset. Well, take care and have a great new year, it will be a new year for you!

Hope I was helpful & let me know what happens (=

If you want to know anything else email me:

[email address blocked]

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