A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I were best friends. We started dating in high school. Recently we were together for about four years, but my ex broke up with me to marry one of his ex-girlfriends. They have a baby on the way. However, my ex calls me after five months of being married to tell me that he misses me, needs me in his life, I am the only one he opens up too, he seems to get jealous about my new significant other in my life and he always tells me to call him often, but I won't call him at all. He says he wants us to go back as being best friends again, he even brings up about visting me soon. What should I do? Does he really just want to be friends again?
View related questions:
best friend, broke up, ex girlfriend, his ex, jealous, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, LISAG +, writes (13 July 2007):
 I have an ex who has recently had a baby (3 mths). Him and I started out as good friends 11 yrs ago. I got involved sexually with him after 2 yrs of knowing him. I saw him for 6 yrs/lived with for 2yrs and have been split 3/4 yrs. We are still friends now (almost my best friend),but he has never really let go - I only realised this in last year or so. He is happy and glad he has a baby, but is not happy/content with the babys mum.
He is 8 yrs younger than me. In the beginning of our relationship I always viewed it as "nothing serious" because of his age. I always thought he needed to "play the field" and he did a little and he then got with the babys mum quite quickly (I sort of left him as I got offered a job abroad - before he'd met babys mum) and has been with her 3/4 yrs.
To my "sort of" surprise it has become apparent that he still has very strong feelings for me, which he has expressed in increasing doses this year! I am no longer interested, other than friends, especially as he has shown jealously over any significant other who has been in my life. He feels like he could get in the way of my future.
I like him as a friend and I suppose I love him still like I do my other best friends, but for me that is just that best friends.
My ex has always been in contact with me just like a friend would be. His new g/f never liked it naturally, but I would be very suspicious of someone who hasnt bothered for ages and then suddenly picks up contact.
If he has not bothered with you on a regular basis - I think you should be wary! He finished it and in all honesty, we're all sensitive humans and for some strange reason we can't help ourselves after maybe being hurt by someone, we still will welcome them back with open arms.
I think you maybe are holding a flame for him as he finished it? Dont let this cloud your judgement, altho. easier said then done. I bet your current man is actually a better bet. I could be completely wrong, as Im a little tipsy now, but I dont think you #d be posting inquisitive questions here about your ex if you werent maybe hoping.
Feel free to mail me direct when Im sober, your situation sounded fairly similar to my experiences.
Lisa x
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (13 July 2007):
 I agree with Been There Done That (Donna). He doesn't want to be friends. He wants to get into your pants. I think you shouldn't let him.
...............................
A
female
reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT  +, writes (12 July 2007):
 Hi hun,
Your ex is now a married man with a child on the way, this is not fair on his wife nor is it fair on you babes as he is playing with your emotions I don't mean to sound harsh but stay well away, you have a boyfriend now so enjoy your life don't get mixed up with a man who wants his cake and eats it, he won't leave his wife they rarely do...bearing in mind he has only been wed 5 months dangerous my sweet...
You deserve a good man in your life some one you can have fun with, someone whom you trust, someone you can depend upon ,he really does not sound to me like he meets any of this!!!!
Hope this has helped you darling good luck
Love Donna xx
...............................
|
