A
male
age
51-59,
*hawncaff
writes:Billy Joel has a song, "The Stranger":"Once I used to believe I was such a great romancerThen I came home to a womanThat I could not recognizeThough I pressed her for a reason,She refused to even answerIt was then I felt the strangerKick me right between the eyes."We all put up with the bad traits of our partners because we feel it is worth the good. I have heard it many times:"She is very moody and can have temper tantrums, but she is so kind and giving that I put up with that."OR"She is a great cook, very practical, very organized so I tolerate her aloofness and unemotional quality."OR "She is not particularly worldly or stimulating, and she does not challenge me intellectually, but she is the most honest, direct, and trustworthy person you will ever find.OR EVEN "She can be a b***h but, boy, is she good in bed!"My question today is: What is that you need the most from your partner, without which you could not tolerate being in the relationship? I think it varies. For example, some would trustworthiness, but others would tolerate cheating and have an open relationship because they still want to be with the person even if they have to share him or her. Others might say being there and being emotionally supportive, but others might tolerate the partner's absence if it meant good money coming in.Some might even tolerate no real love if the person was a good provider and gave them social status. Others might say if there was no love, that would be the breaking point.I used to think I would not tolerate so much, but I found myself wanting to stay in a particular relationship so much that I tolerated much more than I ever thought I would. Eventually, for me, it was a feeling of trust that the person really cared about me and had my best interest at heart. I could have accepted everything else if I had that.What is the sine qua non for you in a relationship? What is the essential quality you need in a relationship, without which you would not continue?Thanks.
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female
reader, Jen1689 +, writes (28 January 2011):
 I feel the most important things in a relationship are trust and honesty. Without trusting a person, you can never truly be yourself or put your faith in your relationship. You never know if you really KNOW your partner. Without honesty, you're manipulating your partner and their emotions. You're cheating them of truly being happy because you're putting on a front to allow them to see you for what you want them to see, not for what you really are. Without honesty and trust, the very foundation and promise for a "healthy relationship" is nonexistent. End of story.
A
female
reader, pepper27  +, writes (25 January 2011):
 Hi Hun
I feel honesty, Trust and most important friendship. Understanding each others little quirks goes along way...Money nooooooooo!!!!! People are more important than getting my nails done :)
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