A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for four years. Everytime a conversation came up about porn he would say he that he wasnt into it at all, and thay they are all sluts, blah blah blah. Well we are living together now, and sometimes he wants to watch the porn while we are having sex. So i was just wondering, what might - or is going through his head...is he think about them or me? Is he wanting me to be like the girls on TV? I mean he tells me that he just likes it because he likes listing to them or whatever, but i don't believe it. Like i said before he said he didnt like that kinda of stuff and he slowly started showing over time that he was into it. And since he lied to me once about it how do i know that he is not lyin to me now about it?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2008): God men can be such crap. There is no need to watch porn while having sex - unless you quite like it. If it makes you feel stink don't do it. Oh and what is he thinking of while having sex with you? - whether or not the porn is on he's thinking of the women who really turn him on who are in his head.
Sorry, get some real initimacy with a guy who is engaged with you during sex not porn or other women in his head
A
female
reader, SweetDreamer  +, writes (6 November 2008):
 I think the lying is there as a barrier. Your boyfriend obviously likes porn but he doesn't want you to feel hurt or jealous and he can probably sense this from you.
You have been together for quite a while so I assume that things are quite stable. I don't think it is a weird thing to watch porn and have sex during. Porn is used to stimulate the mind. Surely he won't be turning the porn on halfway through sex?? I would think that if you were to watch it together before foreplay this can be quite a turn on.
I think your boyfriend is generally scared about how you will react to his answer of 'yes, I like watching porn during sex.' I think you should talk this over with him and let him know how you feel on the situation. Whether you like or dislike it. Most importantly, don't feel under pressure to be like the girls on there. Just be yourself - I'm sure he loves you (you live together afterall.. Thats a big step/comittment). At least he has told you what he wants.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, for_a_reason  +, writes (24 October 2008):
 This reminds me of an episode of Sex and the City - Miranda goes out with a guy who can't have sex without watching porn simlultaneously. Predictably, she doesn't stay with him very long :|
Watching Porn can make for interesting foreplay - but during? No, no, no, no! Tell him to turn that TV off! How can he possibly concentrate on giving you pleasure when he's got his eye on the tv the whole time! Tell him that he's making you feel you inadequate and that if he'd rather have a fantasy relationship with the porno girls on the tv rather than enjoy the real deal with you, then it can be arranged and that you hope that they'll be very happy together!
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