A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My birthday was earlier this week. My bf hasn't been good about getting me gifts or making it special for me. This year I decided I wasn't going to expect anything and that way I wouldn't be disappointed.So of course when I expect nothing, that is when he starts talking about my birthday days in advance...something he's never done before. Then he talks about that he has to get me something soon but he is not sure what to get me.So I am thinking wow he is really going to remember my birthday and actually get me a present this year so yeah I got excited! We go out on the weekend and he is trying to find me a ds lite but everywhere they are sold out. The next day I text him not to worry about the ds and put in a suggestion for a bracelet. Gave him the store and the stock number and price even. It cost a lot less than the ds lite.So now I am wondering if I will get a present at all.I have been very sick all week and stayed in bed all week including my birthday. He did call me up on my birthday and wish me happy birthday and sang to me which was terrific! I guess I am worried that he didn't get me a present like he said he would. He didn't mention a present or anything. I wouldn't even be thinking about it at all but he did say he was getting me one.This morning I text him saying I was finally getting over my flu and then I teased him like he does me asking him what he got me for my birthday.What should I do or say if he really didn't get me a present when he said he was going to?After being very ill all week, I think that would make it the worst birthday ever if he did that. :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt all worked out and I was worrying about nothing. He got me exactly what I wanted. :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI always buy him very nice gifts and bake for him on holidays.
Sometimes he is appreciative but sometimes he makes little snide remarks about the gift.
One birthday I got him a wonderful mobile phone and we were long distance at the time and I kept wondering if he got it yet and then I asked him if he got it and he said oh yeah it came last week and he made the comment it was so fancy he felt like he had to wear a tux to use it.
As for him buying me gifts he usually doesn't. That is why I was excited that this time he brought it up and was going to do it.
Or he has bought me a cheap little gift but went out and spent nearly a thousand or so for a tv or something for himself at the same time.
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female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (8 August 2008):
 Personally OK I think your bf has finally got the message that you want a present and your birthday was a flop due to your illness but I think you took the wind out of his sail in as much as he was trying to go down the DS Lite route and due to low stock levels his intentions for getting it for you has been scuppered so to speak.
You suggested a bracelet and gave him all the details but this could be saying 'well I didn't want the DS Lite in any case' this may be what has put him off of getting you the gift as he could still be trying to locate a DS Lite or he could be thinking well she doesn't appreciate the fact that I came up with an idea for a present for her and it wasn't good enough.
You do need to talk to him, do you buy him gifts for his birthday and make him feel special on his day?
You say you have been together for several years so there must be some sort of pattern here? If you do get him gifts for his birthday does he show you a lot of gratitude or does he just expect it now?
I would say if he gets you nothing then return the favour and don't get him anything for his birthday, if he questions this then tell him if he can't be bothered why should you. You could always still get him a birthday card and see what his reaction is.
If you love someone you want to make them feel special but if this is a pattern of being mean or tight with money then you need to ask yourself whether being with this man is really what you want.
If the rest of your relationship is great and he isn't mean with money any other time i.e. going out or having meals etc then just dismiss the birthday gifts and maybe christmas as well and just buy yourself someone instead so you feel special and tell him to buy himself something he wants and then you spend whatever you want on yourself instead.
Keep us posted eh!
BFN
Country Woman
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo answer the question, he has been my boyfriend for several years. I did say something about having a birthday redo since I was so ill on this one and didn't get to do anything.
What should I say to him if he doesn't get a present?
Normally it wouldn't bother me, but telling me he was getting me something and then not doing it is mean and makes him not very trust worthy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2008): Well, I may be a little hard on your boyfriend, but if he didn't get you a gift, I would show him the way to the door. He drove up your hopes, and not getting you something, is a lie. It makes me wonder why your boyfriend dosen't give you gifts...It's not about the money, or the monetarie "THING," but it is about how it makes the person feel.
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