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What exactly is sexual tension and what's so good about it?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 August 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 22 August 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi. Seems like a silly question but what exactly is 'Sexual tension'? If I meet a guy I really like I usually struggle to keep my composure and can't hold down a conversation. So basically the conversation is all kind of stilted and goes no-where. This in turn makes him uncomfortable and therefore he loses confidence. Is this sexual tension? There are other guys out there who I really don't fancy but we have a laugh and a really good chat. So, how can I attract the guys I'm sexually attracted to if at the same time I'm inadvertently driving them away (unknowingly?) with negative vibes. There was one guy the other day who I've fancied for years. I've only spoken to him a couple of times, but I can barely talk to him for a minute or two before I have to make my excuses and leave (I must confess, I masturbated later at home when thinking about him!). Am I confusing shyness/embarrassment with sexual tension?

View related questions: confidence, my ex, shy

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A female reader, PsyCookie United States +, writes (22 August 2008):

PsyCookie agony auntSexual tension is when you want to have sex (or intimacy) with a person yet you cannot do anything about it because of certain circumstances. It also applies to people who have a spark or connection with another person and can't take it to the next level.

It sucks a lot and there's nothing good about it. The feelings is highly uncomfortable.

But what you have is not sexual tension but just shyness. There are some people you're going to connect, and some that you won't, so which might explain your easiness to talk to some guys and not with others. Most people are like that, don't worry.

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A female reader, -Red- Ireland +, writes (21 August 2008):

-Red- agony auntyes i think you're just shy or embarrassed that you'll say the wrong thing.

sexual tension is like a spark of electricity surging through the room when you're together. I suppose in a way it is hard to explin, so the best way i can is to say that sexual tension is when you're really really aware of eachother, of the way the other person looks, their voice, what they're doing, the distance between you and the other person.

You just seem shy around the people you are attracted to. I think you just need to get used to them. Make yourself stay and talk longer than you usually would, talk to them more often and you will become more used to them and less shy as time goes by. Don't give up. If you slip up and say somerthing you think is embarrassing, just get right back on your feet. Make a joke out of it or ignore it, but don't run away cause it'll make things worse.

That's the best i can do.sorry, but i hope i've helped at least a little :D


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