A
female
age
36-40,
*ostandalone38
writes:Why is it that everyone around me either getting engaged getting married having a baby or their pregnant, although I am happy for them it's really hard to be happy when I'm 29 years old and I'm not married or engaged or anything, I'm a single mother 2 children and recently me my boyfriend broke up, I'm still madly in love with him, what him back I don't know what to do all the things we talk about having children getting married getting house all seems so pointless now, seem as though he wants nothing to do with me.. what do you do when everybody around you is happy and you're not?
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female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (14 November 2012):
 I'm sorry, but maybe your break up has distorted your vision of the reality around you. If you honestly think that everyone around you is "happy", you need to get a reality check asap. Just because you're miserable at the time, doesn't mean everyone's happy and the world is full of rainbows.
Life sucks. Sometimes it's in your favor and often times it's stacked up against you. That's for everyone, even those you may consider "happy". The truth is there are plenty of people jacked up relationships and marriages, but you're simply focusing on those that are not. Just because you have a kid, a ring or you're married doesn't mean you're happy. I see plenty of people on a day to day basis that lead crap lives and they have kids, and/or are married.
You'll get over your loser boyfriend and you'll get back to a more balanced view of reality and the world.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2012): I definitely don't know EXACTLY how you feel because I don't have any children. However, I just turned 30 and almost all my friends are happily married and/or are pregnant or have children. I recently wasted many years on a man who kicked me out of the house I helped pay for in a state where I had no friends or family. I had to have my uncle from out of state pay for me to fly back to California. I had lost almost everything. A year later I started dating a man that I had been friends with for years. This past week, I realized that he cares more about his "acting career" than anything else and would be perfectly content living in a small one-bedroom apartment with 2 other men in Hollywood. All of them are over the age of 30. I feel as though I will never have any kind of stable relationship. I cried tonight for several hours while I scrolled through the many happy pictures of my friends in their wedding dresses and the smiling faces of their complete families. I can understand why you must feel like it's not fair. It seems like one mistake after another. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. Just try to remember that everyone around you is NOT perfectly happy. Every situation has its negative side. Many marriages seem beautiful on the surface, but everyone has their problems and secrets. We must strive to believe that life has something BETTER to offer us.
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A
female
reader, citadel  +, writes (13 November 2012):
Yes define happiness.
A child's smile
A good meal
A trip to the park
A hot bath
A good sister or brother
A belly laugh
A paid bill
An education
A job well done
A bowl of cherries
What is your bliss?
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A
male
reader, Jammin75  +, writes (12 November 2012):
It's the old adage of time will heal. If your boyfriend had decided that it's the end of your relationship and it's over for certain then you can't control that. What you can control though is how you feel about it. Cry, grieve your lost relationship but have faith in the fact that you won't feel this way forever. Because you really won't. I wish I could say more, it's nice that you're being happy for your friend's good news, it would be easy to be resentful a bit.
You'll be stronger in the end, chin up, battle through this and soon you'll wake up one morning and realise you don't feel sad about it any more.
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A
male
reader, Jammin75 +, writes (12 November 2012):
It's the old adage of time will heal. If your boyfriend had decided that it's the end of your relationship and it's over for certain then you can't control that. What you can control though is how you feel about it. Cry, grieve your lost relationship but have faith in the fact that you won't feel this way forever. Because you really won't. I wish I could say more, it's nice that you're being happy for your friend's good news, it would be easy to be resentful a bit.
You'll be stronger in the end, chin up, battle through this and soon you'll wake up one morning and realise you don't feel sad about it any more.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2012): "Why is it that everyone around me either getting engaged getting married having a baby or their pregnant"
Maybe because they do not have good judgement in men and so are rushing into ill-advised engagements, marriages and pregnancies as a way of filling the huge, gaping emotional voids in their lives.
"it's really hard to be happy when I'm 29 years old and I'm not married or engaged or anything,"
Very unhealthy to define your happiness as having subjugated your individual identity and living your life as an extension of a random male.
"I'm a single mother 2 children and recently me my boyfriend broke up, I'm still madly in love with him, what him back . . . seem as though he wants nothing to do with me"
Why would you want a random male who doesn't want you?
"all the things we talk about having children getting married getting house all seems so pointless now, seem as though he wants nothing to do with me"
They were pointless then, whatever he "talked about" he didn't mean.
"what do you do when everybody around you is happy and you're not?"
I would seriously reconsider how I define "happiness" in terms of a physical relationship with a penis (pregnant, having a baby) or a possessor thereof (engaged, married). You've been impregnated by an inserted penis twice, you have recently had a steady penis in your life, and you may have possibly been recently shacking up with the possessor thereof, and what do you have to show for it?
Insteading of bemoaning that you currently don't have a male to latch onto, why not stop whining about your love life and start being a positive example and strong example for your two children? Depending on their ages, they're probably ecstatic that Mom's latest loser boyfriend has hit the road.
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