A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My bf has a big interview coming up next week, and he's nervous about it. He asked me if I thought he would do okay. I told him I thought he'd be great, which upset him -- he said he doesn't want a "line" and wants to know what I honestly think about how he'll do and why. I figured this meant I should be more direct, so I told him I think he'll do fine. That I think he will probably be nervous but prepared, and that both may show, but I think that will be fine. Which caused him to get more upset, b/c then he wanted to know why I think he's prepared, and he started arguing with me about whether or not he's actually prepared.I don't know what to do. Here's the situation. I think he's a great candidate for this job. Honestly - I can't think of anyone who'd be better. I also know he gets nervous in situations like this, and realistically, the more nervous he is, the more likely it is that it will have a negative effect. At this point, the best thing he can do is just focus on the fact that he's incredibly qualified for this job, try to relax as much as possible, and just be himself in the interview. We both know that interviewing is not his greatest strength, but there's no good reason for that. It's just because he psychs himself out about it, coupled with the fact that he tends to be shy in new situations (so an interview would be a bit uncomfortable, anyway).He's been out of town this weekend, and we're supposed to talk tomorrow about the interview. (He wants advice, etc.) Before he left, we ended our conversation with him noting that the reason I hadn't been able to make him feel better is that I hadn't had anything nice to say. Meanwhile, I feel like I'm stuck in a catch-22. It's like none of the nice things I say/think "count" for some reason.I really want to be supportive. I want to be reassuring. I want to be able to help to talk him down from the frenzy he has worked himself into. He clearly thinks that there's something I should be saying that would make things better, but I don't know what it is. I don't know how to get this right.Can someone please tell me? What can I say to him that will help? How do I answer him when he asks how I think he'll do? I think he has the potential to do really great, and if he doesn't, I know he'll be disappointed, but it won't change how I think of him (although it might change how he thinks of himself).What can I do?
View related questions:
shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! |
