A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid ,I think I am going to get my wish seeing my ex/daughter's father I am so happy yet really nerves I haven't saw him in 13 years I haven't had sex either within these years I have been celibate.What can I do to make this a hot month for us.Help!:) P.s I dont want to get pregnant
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female
reader, Midnight Shadow  +, writes (10 January 2015):
 Honeypie is dead on. You can't jump in the sack after 13 years and make it work. You put off your love life for THIRTEEN YEARS, presumably for this guy. That's mad. You need to spend time together in person.... with clothes on.... at arms length. Not having sex or snuggling up and pretending there hasn't been over a decade in between.
You clearly still have feelings for the guy he USED to be, now you have to find out who he IS.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (10 January 2015):
 If you two want to re-kindle a relationship, I suggest you two get to KNOW each other (not sexually) first. SPEND time together, people change. And in 13 years, they can CHANGE a lot.
And I don't mean getting to know each other through texting. I mean SPEND time together.
Maybe you have both grown and are in a spot where you can make it work, maybe you can't BECAUSE of the past. Which again, is why I would hold off a bit on the sexual side and figure out WHO is this man (now) is he someone I actually can SEE myself with, or has he really not changed at all.
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A
female
reader, Midnight Shadow +, writes (10 January 2015):
Your children weren't the reason you both cheated.
You haven't answered my questions and I don't think we can help much if you don't.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2015): Well to tell the truth my ex and I have bee through a lot we were cheating on each other and it was alot of mess he took me through.But I have always held myself up I wanted him to change because I have.It's so much happening now it has always been in my mind I wanted to be with one of my children's fathers I only have 2 but three children came out of this.Now they are grown we were thinking about rekindling us.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2015): No Madame he is not married we both are single .We chose to go are own way but now our children are grown now we want to rekindle us:)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (10 January 2015):
13 years seems like a LONG time to wait for a guy. What happened that kept you two apart for that long? And what broke you up in the first place?
IS he single?
TO me it seems like you can be setting yourself up for a HUGE disappointment. 13 years is a long time.
If he is single (because I rather not tell you how to help him cheat) I'd say get a good wax, buy plenty of condoms and enjoy.
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If he IS married, then shame on the pair of you.
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A
male
reader, Dodds  +, writes (10 January 2015):
 Hey you haven't given us much info about you and your ex for us to advise you best. Why haven't you been together for so long, what has changed now, how did you begin communicating? etc etc
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A
female
reader, Midnight Shadow +, writes (10 January 2015):
You need him to always use a condom.
That said, genuine question: have you been obsessed with him for these 13 years? Why have you been celibate and changing that as soon as he may come back into your life?
What has happened to make you think you may be having sex with him? Surely you still have feelings for him, if you've chosen to avoid sex for so long (until he may come about), so you must want more than sex from him....?
This sounds like a messy situation that you should avoid. Is that why you haven't told us much about your situation with him?
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