A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I having problems with my relationship with my boyfriend. me and my boyfriend have been togather for 4 years. Our relationship started randomly when he asked me out and i had nothing to say but yes. we lived very close by and our parents were family friends so we saw each other often but in our culture we are not allowed to date so we had to keep our relationship away from our families. Our relationship wasnt the best from the beginning, i always felt like he doesnt care about me and doesnt treat me as i was supposed to be treated and i still feel like that today. we've gotten into fights when i tried to tell him that i felt like he didnt care about me and he said what do you expect from me. When i told him that i want you to pay more attention torwards me and i told that i wanted him to be romantic and stuff. he said tell me how to do that and when i tried to explain how he said idk! like he is never romantic.... he doesnt care if i dont talk to him for week!! He has cheated on me before, he had sex with a girl and said he was high and he told me he never wanted to hurt me and stuff and i forgave him!! but after that i lost trust in him!! then 2 and a half years after our relationship i moved to a different state!! and a couple of months after i moved my cousins and my boyfriend's famly came to visit us. My cousins found out about our relationship and he didnt even stand up for me, instead he told my cousins that he wasnt going out with me, he was going with some other girl!!!like idk wat to do, i love him to much i have tried breaking up with him but i couldnt let go of him so we're back togather!! I want to know if there is any way i can fix our relationship with our breaking up? so please help me figure this out!!
View related questions:
cheated on me, cousin Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2010): This man is plainly not the one for you. You both did not share the same relationship values, you both were not compatible. All of his past and recent actions are saying, he has disconnected. He has gotten high, he has cheated on you and appears to live his life in a way, that goes against your principles. He is the kind of guy that doesn't want to be fully connected and it sounds like he doesn't know how to maintain a loving relationship. Immaturity, self-centeredness, egocentricity and unthinkingness, perhaps.You really never had much with him, did you? My suggestion. This will be tough to hear. Let him go...end it. Do not contact him. He really is the wrong guy for you..and I think you are going through this for a reason. Is it to learn a life lesson? Is it a good thing? Sometimes yes..but the pain is great and you need to be kind to yourself by allowing yourself to cry, grieve and then recover. It will take time and a lot of courage. Call your friends, socialize, do anything to help you get through this. As the weeks go on..it will get easier. Whatever you do though, make time to mourn your loss as well. You will need that. Write here, write a diary, talk to friends, and keep talking so until there is nothing left to say As tough as it is, Life throws us the unexpected and we deal with it. We communicate to family and good friends to help us through. I know you love him, but his actions are saying 'he's not on the same page as you'. Please accept that. Don't be needy, no clinginess..let him go. Hold your head up high and stay proud. There are better men out there, and most definitely better ways of providing the commitment you want, in your life. Hold out for someone who deserves you.Good luck dear and take care of yourself. Hugs
|
