A
female
age
41-50,
*ostgirl32
writes:So it has been over a year since I last posted on here, I didn't go back to Pete, and Jack and I are still together. Last year Pete still had my kids, in July last year, he kicked our 13 year old daughter out and I moved her here to Jack and I, my daughter over the past 12 months has gotten very close to Jack and they adore each other. Jack is so good with her. Pete is now pouring guilt onto her as well as me, and it is really hard to watch as she is resenting her father more and more, he keeps saying we both abandonded him in his time of need. This is a very heavy burdon for a 14 year old. Our son who is 12 he is a very loving and caring boy, he will do anything for anyone. But I don't want him there with his father. This past weekend we went up to see them and usually I would take my son to a motel for the 2 nights. But as there were no rooms I stayed at his house. When I went into my son's room Friday night to tuck him into bed I was appaled at the state of his room. There was no floor at all. On Saturday morning I started cleaning his room, it was 7am, through out the day I would stop and spend some time with him. But it took me 12 hours to get the room done, I did 3 loads of washing and emptied the vaccume 4 times, after washing all of his walls, and every book and game and toy, it was all so full of dust. As is the rest of the house. I have tried to get him to live with me but the courts say as he is 12 he is old enough to decide who he lives with. With Dad he has no rules, he can do what ever he wants. I have just received the court date for our divorce and yet I am feeling so scared. I wish there was something I could do. What can I do to make sure my son is not living in the mess? He has asthma as well, which scares me with all that dust, and the courts just say he has a roof over his head he is loved and fed. Not decent meals, a lot of takeaways and pies which is not a stable diet, he has put on so much weight in just this past 2 years, why cant anyone see it is not healthy for him?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (12 September 2012):
 You are right and it is not healthy for him. Get another court date. Call your lawyer, just because he is 12 does not mean he is old enough to no what is best for him, he is still a minor and if he is living in this mess then something needs to be done about it. Instead of cleaning it up you should have taking pictures of it as proof for the court. Start building your report now so that it shows genuine concern for your son. Take photos the next time you are there of the mess and the fact that he has no floor in his bedroom, get doctor reports that he has asma, and if he is over weight and unhealthy then get a report for that as well, then take all your evidence to your local social services or child protection authority.
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