A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:This year I met a man with whom I have become quite close. We have shared a bed on two occasions but nothing happens; we woke up on Christmas morning together with nowhere to go but he just got up and started washing up!I felt really demoralised. He is going through a tough time from a recent divorce (although his wife left a year ago) and only seeing his children twice a month so he is often down - I have tried to be supportive.What should I do?
View related questions:
christmas, divorce Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Cateyes  +, writes (15 January 2008):
 From my "past" experience, it sounds as if he is missing the one he slept with (his exwife) and at the moment, you are filling those shoe's...even tho no sex. He's not ready to move on, not in the "right" way that is. Sounds as if she left him and he is still missing her and has depression built inside him. He can and will move on one day, you could assist him in that or eventually it may kick in, but I don't feel as if he is "seeing" you as a new or potential girlfriend...maybe one day as one with benefits. If you are willing to give this a try to see what might happen, you really should back away from "those" type of nights and just be with him as a friend who wants to see him make progress in his health and wellness. This he may even appreciate you even more...but there's no guarentee. He's one what some people call as the "walking wounded". He could take all the air you breathe out from you. Untill he can come to grips, there is NO relationship between you...except one who might listen to all his cry's, or what happened, or his sulking from the past....or just plain put up with his depression. He needs to get out and do things that he once used to do that made him happy, meet people...any people...even just as friends, not necessarily in dating. He needs to know there is life after divorce...after any broken relationship. If you want to help him overcome this, feel free...but, if he wants to wallow in it while your out...move on! He just wants to bring you in with it! Good luck no with whatever choice you make and hope things get better...for you both!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008): Hello - I don't think you should share a bed with him as he is obviously not ready for this, even tho he may have suggested it. The problem with men like this is that they end up dragging you down too, so unless you really love him and are willing to see him through the hard times, you should move on. There is also no guarantee that he will stay with you when he does feel better! It would be taking a risk but love usually finds a way. If you are suffering more than enjoying being with him, then perhaps you should put some distance between you.
...............................
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (14 January 2008):
 Learn to live again and enjoy life.Show him that there is life after a divorce.Don't wallow in self pity. Get him to do those things that he likes.This will bring some life back into him.You need to be strong and lead him out of his dark world.
...............................
|
