A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:What right's do i have regarding my ex girlfriend's child whom i'm sure i'm the father to. Honestly she wasn't my girlfriend, we'd both come out of seroius relationships and just wanted a bit of fun so it ended when she became all serious and talked about us moving in together. But getting back to my issue. We ended 10 months ago, and until a few weeks back i had no idea she was even pregnant because she'd gone to stay with her mum in scotland for a while, because everyone said she was really heartbroken that i ended it, and just never came back. Then my flat mate gets a text from her saying she'd had a boy, and that he was 3 weeks old. Now making him 7 weeks old. It all fits into place that i'm the father and if i am i do want to take my rights with my responebiltes but i've tried calling all her contact numbers but she doesnt answer, and when i used other peoples, as soon as she hears my voice she hangs up then doesn't answer that number. I know i must of really hurt her but it's so childish of her. I've looked on the internet about child rights, and having DNA tests done but it just comes up with rubbish, nothing helpful. My dad says i should go to the police and tell them, but i don't think that would happen, and wouldn't help as i don't even know where her mum lives. I know i might sound like the bad guy here but i just want to do the right thing but her. I can't lie and say i'd try again for the baby's sake but i would help her witheverything.So i guess what i'm asking is, if anyone has had problems like this, what do i do? Who can help me? And what rights do i have to make sure we can have a DNA test on the boy.If anyone could help me i'd be forever grateful.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2011): The good determination is to get the DNA test only.
A
male
reader, nine is 9 +, writes (30 January 2010):
Yeah. It sounds like she is still in love with you, or at least she was when she decided to have the kid. love does crazy things and It makes crazy decisions. There are a lot of unstable chicks out there whose ace up their sleeve is their ability to give birth. However, these girls usually lie about being pregnant or lie about taking contraceptives to trap you. You have not mentioned any erratic actions on her side while you were together so I am assuming that she is of sound character and mind and had the child out of genuine love for you. You did not love her, that is not a crime. But she is now living with the actions she took while she was still in love with you. She maybe entertained the thoughts of you falling in love with her if their was a kid involved, but the reasoning side of her brain has probably put things into perspective and so as time has gone on she has realized that she doesn't want you involved in a 'pitty' sense. Give her some time to get over you properly. The kid will still be their...needing a father. Her love turned to hate and the hate will fade away, she will want what is best for the kid eventually. hang in there. i got some similar stuff going on. good luck pal.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): if you think you are the father you can apply to the court for a DNA test,if the circumstances fit as you say they do in law you are presumbed to be the father through circumstance then it is up to the mother to rebutt the presumption, the court will ask for a DNA test to do this. You will have to pay but if you are the father the mother (if she objects to DNA test) will have to repay you. if she doesnt objetc you will have to pay (not sure how much)if you are established to be the father your will have rights to pay maintanence but no rights to see the childyou will then have to apply for parental responisbilty (section4(c) Childrens act 1989) which means you haev a say in teh kids life. if you are the father you will pretty much get this automitically.after you have parental responsibility you can apply for residence or contact under Section 8 CA 1898 as long as its in the best interests of the childif you are the father you will be granted visitations etc but you will also be liable to pay 15% (if this is your only child) of your wages to her so make sure its definately what you want to doif you do your next step should be citizens advice to see how you can go about doing it, the police wont really be able to help you,you need to apply to the family court. hope it sorts out
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A
female
reader, Ileana +, writes (6 February 2008):
 Get a solicitor. Your in the UK and you could probably explain your case and then they would decide what action to take. I hope your very proud of yourself to want to take responsibility!! I know all us aunts and uncles will be. Good luck sweetieIileyanaxx
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A
female
reader, Serinity  +, writes (6 February 2008):
 I think it's great that you want to assume responsibility for the child if it is in fact yours. Bravo!!! Have you checked with your local child services department? I would explain your situation and ask them what steps you should take to find out ligitemately if it's your child. If it is your child and you do nothing, she can come back years from now and say it's your child and if the DNA results confirm that then she can get you for back child support. Start with your child services department and consider hiring a lawyer. Good luck sweetie, I hope it all works out for you love.
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