A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am painfully shy and lack confidence. I have no real friends and no social life. I have bought many books on this and tried many different techniques, even hypnotherapy! Nothing has worked, I have been this way my entire life. Now I am going to be 30 and I really want to change and break out of this habit. I am a good looking guy, nice person, good job, and lots to offer people whether as a friend or a partner (yes I am single!)So 2009 I have decided I want to make this on my resolution - to become more proactive in overcoming this. So I was wondering if anyone has any good tips or suggestions about how I can start overcoming this. Maybe small excercises into how to strike up conversations with random people. I believe if I put myself otu of my "comfort zone" it will start improving. So really I am looking for little excercises I can practise or use whenever I go out to build up more confidence and overcome this. For the record - I am not looking for any other advice - ONLY any exercises or tips people can suggest I try in my day to day life to start bringing me out of my shell bit by bit.1. There is nothing wrong with me - I had a great childhood and great parents. I have been shy from ever since I can recall, so no, nothing that requires counselling or nothing traumatic!2. No I do not want to join any class or try to meet other ppl etc. I have no interest in any class nor do I want to be spending my time in any sort of class after a 12hr job. 3. Dont want advise to make friends at work - there is only one person I work with and he is in his late 50s so that is out of the question!That is not the advice I am looking for so please - I am looking for tips / techniques / exercises I can encorporate into my daily life to start pushing me out of that comfort zone once and no doubt it will help me starting improving.Thanks (again please, really only want tips about exercises / techniques to try in striking up convos with ppl etc!)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2009): Lol never ceases to amaze me how on this site people always give the EXACT advice the people say they dont want!!! And rarely seem to give the advice the people do want! I wish if people here would be more in tune to READING what the person has asked instead of BLABBING for the sake of blabbing sake!
Anyway listen dude, I am a shy person myself and it is a problem I would like to come over too. If there are any normaly people out there who do know of some actually techniques you can try then so be it.
There was one I tried a couple of times - when standing in in line to pay for something, is to try to make a comment about the weather to the person in front of me. I would be interested however in another "technique" I can use when out in a more social situation at night?????
A
female
reader, teesie  +, writes (11 January 2009):
I'm shy too. Look in the mirror and talk to yourself about the issue. And if u aren't comfortable doing that just simply talk aloud about it? Its a process. These things take time. But practice make perfect! Be of good courage! " )
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A
female
reader, 48years  +, writes (11 January 2009):
 Read The Game... I think it's written by a guy named Mystery. It's about meeting girls, and especially hooking up with them. The man has made a career out of studying women and how to shmooze them.
Just don't use any one and throw them away - play the game, but don't give up your sweetness or your soul.
Every pot has a lid (or several)... old Polish saying.
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