A
female
age
30-35,
*ceane
writes:Hello everyone ,merry Christmas !!!4 years ago i went out with this guy # 1 but then we broke up.It took me a while to get over him but i did. At some point because i was going to the same univ as my cousin we decided to rent an apart together, we were very close and still are. We moved in together just like cousins, he had his room and i had mine. And then out of the blue we kissed one day, and that's how things began. We never had sex but we always made out , we ended up liking each other so much ,but we knew there was nothing we could do about it.after a year i moved out went in a different state but i was very much in love with him.he called me one day and asked me to date him, i said yes, it was a long distance relationship and it didn't last we were arguing a lot so we decided to stop and just to be cousins we agreed that it was for the best,but it was very hard for me , i loved him more than i loved any other person. Then after like 6 months of being just good cousins and best friends, we had a very long talk over the phone my cousin told me that he never stopped liking me that he just wanted to be more mature about it but he really likes me and always will, he even said that if he could he would marry me but the problem is the family, and yes i would marry him too if it wasn't for the family. After that conversation all the feelings that i thought were gone came back , he said that all we could have was an affair since we really cant be together we agreed on that, i love that guy so much that it even scares me and he knows it too, but the good part he doesn't try to use that against me we are really best friends so we tell each other the truth, we talk everyday over the phone,flirt, we have plan of meeting very soon and we agreed on never date but have an affair.But i am scared of falling so hard again for him and this time i don't know if i will survive, he is like a drug to me if i am in a and mood and talk to him just a simple conversation i feel so good after that. But then like 5 months ago the guy#1 decided to be in touch with me and we have been talking over the phone too, and he told me how much he wish we could go back together,he is being very nice to me, and i don't know how this happened but whenever he says like i love you i feel butterflies in my stomach. And this confuses me so much i know for sure i am not in love with him but why does he make me feel that way?this that mean i am getting over my cousin??to be honest i would love to love somebody else the way i love my cousin cause i know nothing will ever happen between us , but i am not able too and i feel like every time i talk to guy # 1 its like a way of tying to distract my mind from thinking about my cousin!! so in brief,Do you think maybe i am having feelings for my ex?What can i do about this cousin relationship i wish he could me my husband but as much as we love each other we will never do that , i want to let this relationship go but i can't, i feel like i would die!!Please i came here cause i want help so please no weird answers,my case is arleady weird!!Thanks
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