What are the signs of an emotional affair?

A female , anonymous writes:

How can you tell if your b/f has started having an emotional affair with someone else?....My b/f used to e-mail me during the day and share things with me. At the beginning of our relationship, he'd tell me everything and I always felt close to him because of his open nature. Fast forward a few years, I no longer have access to a computer every day, so we don't e-mail each other anymore and I miss getting little updates from him, as well has funny jokes and cute little notes. When I come from work, he's always too preoccupied with things around the house to talk to me. As a result I feel like we're drifting apart. He never tells me anything about his job, doesn't share things with me like he used to and I feel shut out. I've tried to tell him how I feel, but he thinks I'm just imagining things. I will admit, he's home with me every night and we still have a good sex life, but emotionally I feel like there's an ocean between us. Because of his social nature, and the way he used to open up to me about everything, I'm wondering if he's made friends with someone else, and has been sharing things with her, instead of me. She may not even live in the same town as we do, but if he's e-mailing her and opening up, then he's allowing someone else to fill his emotional needs and by the time I come home, he doesn't need to share anything with me. He claims that things at work are going fine, but I really feel like it's something more. I just don't know what to do.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2008):

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