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*ettyBoop2005
writes: I’m a 50 year old woman and I’m going out with my best friend’s brother who is 56 and a widower. He was married for 20 years to his wife and he used to be unfaithful to her. He’s a musician. He was married previously twice and his marriages never lasted. Besides that I didn’t see the whole family for 20 years. When his wife passed on his sister told me and I went to pay my respects to him and his family. His wife was a beautiful person and would do anything for him. He was never close to his children from that marriage, never gave them love and attention. His wife used to take care of everything, because he was too busy with his music.By the way I’m a singer myself and when he became a widower he started calling me as friends and we use to get in the van and go for rides and talk. This went on for 4 months and I used to notice he used to cry a lot and I asked him I could see you have guilt about something you did to her and he confessed it was true.Anyway we bonded in a very special way and I noticed I started having feelings for him but never said anything kept it to myself. I knew he was grieving.One thing led to another and he invited me to a gig and picked me up and I started doing chorus with him, I had a great time and when we got back to the house he said he needed me so we got involved and from there on we’ve been together going on almost 4 years. But I’ve discovered a lot of things about him and he’s always lying to me. He breaks up with me and then says he’s sorry. He’s been doing this for a long time now.I’ve broken up with him and he always comes looking for me telling me he loves me but has a hard time showing it. He’s always flirting with women and being secretive on the phone. I think he’s playing me. I’ve seen pics of singers that he’s hiding in the computer and now I told him he has to make a choice: he has to commit or it’s over.Can any of the guys please give me some input on this please? I would really have some peace of mind thanks.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2005): why on earth would you want to get involved with someone you KNOW will be unfaithful?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2005): Once a cheater, always a cheater, and he will have got better at lying with age. Find youself a good person, it will make you feel so uch better about yourself.
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female
reader, shania  +, writes (12 November 2005):
 Get rid of that loser.The onley person he is in love with is himself.He is addicted to other women.He loves the chase then once he has had them he is on to someone else.Aman never changes his spots.Find someone else who will show you respect.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (12 November 2005):
 I'm afraid the only way you are ever going to have any peace of mind is to dump the cheater and see if you can find a decent fellow who will love and also respect you. A man who is 56 and has cheated his way through every relationship is not going to change now. If you really want peace of mind you know what must be done.
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