A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Sorry its a bit lengthy but I wanted to provide some background info...I'm currently a freshman in college about an hour and a half away from home and she's a junior in high school back home. I've been good friends with this girl for a while now and even though we both have a mutual attraction to each other, its never gone further than holding hands and cuddling while watching a movie. We still refer to each other as "friends" and so far I've been happy with it. I've never gotten up the nerve to ask about furthering our relationship though.Well last week while home for spring break, I decided to ask her out on a double date with a mutual friend of ours. We decided on dinner and a movie afterwards. Nothing too fancy. It all went smoothly (well, except for the fact that the our friends date couldn't make it but we brought her along anyways.) I even went out and bought her some of her favorite flowers. (of which I knew thanks to her sister :-D ) Well after dinner we all went back to my house and watched a movie which included the regular cuddling and such. After the movie we went back to her house so her friend could get picked up to go home and then we just cuddled up on her couch for a good 45 minutes and talked about school and stuff. Well, as I was getting ready to leave and just as we were giving each other our usual hug goodbye, we kissed each other; not once, but twice.So I guess my question is: Where do I go from there? There wasn't any awkwardness or anything the next time I saw her before I left for school again, so I doubt she regrets it. Also, with me being in college and her still having a whole year left of high school to go, I'm not sure if it would be a good idea to hook up with her, not that I wouldn't mind trying to make it work! So advice would be great! Thanks!
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2007): (smile) Been there, got the T-shirt. It is a common thing. Mine was only one year behind me. She was a senior in high school and I was college freshman. And we had been "friends" for a long time. It was a big adjustment for me at the time. College was a new world and I was really getting caught up in it. "New horizons" and all that. She was still very much into her high school thing. Only one year, but it made a big gap between us. And she decided to go to a different college, anyway. My "advice" is to go slow. Stay friends, but don't think about a "permanent relationship" now. You don't want to hurt or mislead her. And her believing she was somehow "committed" to you now, and thinking she must "be true" to you, would put a big damper on her own high school experience. It is a fact of our society that at your age, only a year or two can make such a huge difference. It can even cause agonies for some. Only a few years from now, it will not make such a difference. But now it does. You both will do a lot of changing and maturing in the next few years. But, you need to finish your schooling and get your life lined out before you think about a serious commitment. And she is *much* too young to think about it. Maybe harsh words, but very true. (Ain't life a bitch sometimes?)
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