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We're sleeping together but he won't kiss me!!!

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Question - (14 March 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 15 March 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

hey everyone. I am seeing this guy and although we are having a sexual relationship he will not kiss me! I don't have bad breath he just says it does nothing for him which I think is a little selfish as I love it! this bothers me. Is there anyone out there who doesn't like to kiss or should I worry there may be another reason?? thanks guys

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A male reader, Paladin United States +, writes (15 March 2008):

Paladin agony auntTo me kissing is a critcal part of the relationship and his refusal should be a big concern. In the movie "Pretty Woman" they made a big deal out it. The bottom line in the movie was that as long as she didn't kiss him everything else didn't matter. In the mid-sixties there was a song called the "Shoop Shoop Song (It's In HIs Kiss)" Cher did the song also. I suggest you play it for him and maybe he will understand the value of a kiss.

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A female reader, dearkelja United States +, writes (15 March 2008):

dearkelja agony auntI agree that kissing is more personal and this guy has intimacy issues if he can not kiss you. He is also selfish if he knows you like to be kissed and he is not doing that to satisfy you. I think you need to end this relationship as it doesn't seem to be meeting your needs. I wouldn't be able to be with someone who could not kiss me. I'd rather have the kissing than the sex.

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A female reader, LIERIN United States +, writes (15 March 2008):

LIERIN agony auntSounds like he has you only for sex.

Kissing is more personal and meaningful than just simple sex. Maybe you two should talk what each wants from this relationship.

Good luck

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2008):

Well - i'll reply giving a recount of my personal experience.

I engaged in sexual relations with a woman for years. We never kissed - not once. This is probably because we decided early in the relationship that we only wanted sex from each. That's it. Kissing (at least to us) seemed more personal and meaningful. We didn't want to do anything that would make us feel like we were a couple. So all we did was have sex together.

We did other things too. Went out to movies, dinner, etc. And we were exclusive to each other during this period. We were sex partners and nothing more - but no one else was involved. As the relationship progressed, I became more attached to her and wanted the title boyfriend and girlfriend but she didn't think that was a good idea because of our previous agreement.

So that's it. You could just be his sex partner and nothing more. You will need to talk to him to find out where he stands. Let him know what kissing does for you and what it means to you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2008):

Interesting, I once broke up with a guy because he was a horrible kisser. On the other hand, I have had sex with a guy without kissing at all, it was just a hook up. Another time, a guy made a big deal out of kissing as it really meant that I was something special to him, he was a player, fun but do not get attached type of guy. Sex is sex, kissing is for "the one"

What type of guy is he?

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A female reader, thatgothgirl20 United States +, writes (14 March 2008):

thatgothgirl20 agony auntThere was a question on here before similar to yours. Idk if you are the same person, but most people on here said things to the nature of "Don't worry about it, everyone has their likes and dislikes."

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