A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Wen my cousin came back from a year away i started having feelings for him but didn't know how he felt back. We had always been really close and always messed around like kids do.One day i went round to see my family and when we were close to each other he started touchin me...i didnt really know what to think..he had been drinkin..then he was trying to play footsie with me.I stopped it and after,he went upstairs and didn't come down for about 20mins and every one wondered what was wrong.I went round to visit him once after alone and he was trying stuff again but i resisted..only because i wasnt sure what he wanted not because i didn't want it to happen.I started texting him quite a bit and once i said i wanted to ask him something. He said there is somethings that should not be told to your cousin.I wasn't even thinking anything like that though i wanted to ask about something totally different.So i'm confused.We are only 2nd cousins so it's not as bad. The problem is he's 9 years older than me and hes going away for a year again and i want to know how he feels because i am falling 4 him.Please help....
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female
reader, cousin2009rl  +, writes (27 April 2009):
I feel your pain I really do although I have no answer for you. I have been in the same situation for a long time. Only we are older now. He is away but when he comes home we visit each time we get closer and closer he is my best friend my everything although we cant tell anyone. Our families would freak out! We don't know what to do either, we both are with other people now, the relationships are ok but they are nothing like they would be if it could be us together. I read on here all these people that pretty much say screw it and get iwth threir cousins... but we just cant take that step and risk the fued it would cause in our lives and family. So we have our visits and pictures and texts messages. It really sucks... I wish you both all the luck in the world and hey ifyou ever get the answer the real answer on if its okay to be with your second cousin please let me know!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks 4 ur advice every1!i appreciate it!...Its not how i feel that im worried about...its how he does. One minute hes all over me and the next he is making it seem as if im the guilty one when its not me doing any of it.Btw im 16 in a few weeks..gonna b doing my a-levels in Sept..im quite a mature person..if i wasnt,this situation could be a lot worse!I have always trusted him all my life but now he is ruining our relationship, he got 2 me when i was in a vulnerable state after my father died last year.I went round 2 be with my aunty every night 4 2 weeks...so he was always there,being caring..then it all went wrong.I really want 2 find out what hes thinking but how do i do that?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2007): Well, there is a fairly substantial age difference here - I'm guessing he's 23 or 24 and you're no older than 15. He perhaps feels there's something wrong about cousins getting together. Perhaps he doesn't wish to be caught doing something illegal with you.
That said, I fell in love with my first cousin many years ago when I was just 14, and she 15, but I kept quiet about it and didn't tell her for fear of what our parents and grandparents might have said about it. 36 years later and both of us having had two marriages we eventually got together. That was 8 years ago and both of us feel we were meant for each other right from the start. Our grown-up kids get on together like a house on fire too, which is a bonus.
If I had my time again I would make sure my cousin knew how I felt about her. I'd advise you to do the same, but hang in there for a few years to see if things develop and don't rush into anything - certainly not at your tender age where getting hurt is almost an occupational hazard!
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (26 July 2007):
 It sounds like it's just a crush to me and due to the fact he is going away for a year i would suggest you try and forget about him and move on, ok i know he's a relative and i won't be as easy as said,but if you can't see him it will be easier.
Take care.xx.
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