A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:can a married man ever love another woman. i am a married woman who still lives with her husband and kids but have told my husband ive been seeing someone else. i met this other man through a work conference. hes married for 16 yrs me 9yrs. at first it was just sex but for the past year we have carried on like a long distance relationship seeing each other at least once a week and talking all day almost everyday. we both have several children and will always put them first. he moved out of his wife/kids house for the past several months and said hes been waiting for me.i was in no financial situation to move out yet with my kids. he says hes lonely so he broke it off with me out of now where and went back to his wife. how do i deal with this. do i try to contact him or just let it be. i knw she was pressuring him and having the kids make him feel guilty. did guilt make him go back or is the security of the 16yrs they had together driving this for better or worse he told me but wasnt thinking any of this before
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009): update...he has since been texting me how have i been how are my kids and hope we can be friends one day.dnt be mad at me. i havent really answered any of his text back and told him to just mail my stuff to me, he wanted to bring it to me but i told him i wasnt interested in helping him make himself feel better. we spoke yesterday for awhile but what now. i miss him and he told me he misses me but how much weight can his word hold after all of this. he says he made a mistake but doesnt knw what to do. i asked him if went back out of guilt and being afraid. mostly guilt that he wasnt there for his kids...bt he is a great dad
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (12 January 2009):
 Most likely he loves his wife. That is why he is staying, that is usually WHY they stay in a marriage. If she wants him back, I hope for their sake they take the time to work it out and move forward. Which means if he doesn't want contact from you, then well, leave him. He chose his wife and his marriage.
Then you need to sit down and have a LONG think on what you are doing to you own marriage. WHY are you cheating? What are you not getting/giving in your own marriage? Why are you cheating on yourself?
Personally I find cheating pathetic ( I have been on the receiving end so yeah, I do know how it feels and I'm pretty anti-cheating)
If you and your husband aren't happy, then you two need to either WORK it out or end it, BEFORE you jump not only into bed with another man, but into another relationship.
I didn't see you write anything about your husband so I am guess he doesn't know and that you don't intend on telling him. How do you think he would feel if he knew?
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A
female
reader, ecstasy  +, writes (12 January 2009):
 Hi, There is a reason you got married and had kids with your current huband.... why do you think you got interested in another man... slept with him? has your marriage gotten boring? i personally feel when one is married and had kids his/her decisions effect the whole family... and its not right to have something on the side while being married.... if you begin to feel the marriage is not working make sure you end the current chapter to start a new one.... merging the two only create confusion resulting in pain and suffering...for all those involved however now that stuff has already happened... dont complicate it further... figure out what you want cuz you dint even support this other man who left hiss wife for you.... i think you need time alone to sort your thoughts out.... spend time alone gather your thought im sure you will find the answer! Cheers
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A
female
reader, shania  +, writes (12 January 2009):
 Probably both, he did leave his wife and asked you to leave your husband so the ball was in your court at that time but i guess you felt pressurized to just walk out on your husband, would your lover have taken your kids on? Im thinking that nothing was planned here nuch.You have to ask yourself this, i think you should forget him, it wasn't going anywhere.
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