A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:I was dumped a week ago by my fiance and now i don't know what to do. We had been together for over 6 years (since school) and before we got together we were friends. He has been my whole life and i loved him so much. We weren't having problems as we weren't arguing, it was just in the last week he seemed a little distant. When i queried this he came out and just said he wanted different things. I don't feel he has given me a true explanation as just a matter of days/weeks before we had been discussing getting a place together and furniture and having a family. I was never forceful in wanting to get engaged these were things he wanted - so how can that change so quickly? He swore there was no one else. I haven't spoke to him since he called me to end things which has been hard as i spoke to him every day and he was my best friend as well. I now don't know whether to contact him for an explanation so i can move on with answers or wait for him to contact me. I also still feel like I want him to come back saying it was a mistake but i know i just feel like this as things ended so suddenly without an explanation. I just don't know what to do next? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. please help!!
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best friend, engaged, fiance, move on Reply to this Question |
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): Something has changed for him - and maybe he hasn't even figured out what that is yet. I know it must be so hard to be in the position you are in - not knowing what happened, trying to think if it was something you did or said...
I don;t mean to be pessimistic, but I think you need to accept that this relationship is probably over and that you may never really understand why it happened this way...cause even if he does come back, change his mind - chances are you will never feel the comfort and security you previously did...which will effect how you relate overall.
A
female
reader, Isabella1974  +, writes (27 May 2008):
 Hi there,
i really sympatise with you. What a tough period you are going through.
I think he got scared, the fact that he was talking about getting a house, having kids has probably freaked him out a bit and needs to take a step back and some space to see what he wants.
Six years is along time and yes it is time to decide where you are going. He is confused..but he really needs to decide what he wants, he cant expect you to wait around for him forever.
I know you love him and want him back...it all comes as a shock to you. I am just wondering why did he not tell you to your face he wanted to leave?
Give it time sweety, if you want, call him up, dont be angry, just ask him the reason he feels he wants different things now. You are not putting any pressure on him, you just want to know what happened, you deserve an explanation, especially after 6 years.
He may come to his senses and realise that he cannot live without you as you have so many memories together.
So basicly what i suggest you do is either
1. Call him up and see can you talk this through, its better if you could meet him face to face.
2. Give him the time to see what he really wants, but set a time limit for yourself and see if he calls you.
You still deserve a good reason.
The best of luck and i really hope this get better for you.
Take care
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008): hey, i'm really sorry to hear your situation, its really sad. I would definitly try and talk to him to find out why, and if nothing else, ask if there is a way you can remain friends, seeing as he was your best friend as well as your partner. It sounds like this was nothing to do with you in the least, it could be that his feelings changed over time an he didnt want to hurt you and tell you but the thought of marriage which is such a big commitment may have swayed his decision. On the other hand he could have paniced and just made a rash decision. Six years is a long time to be with someone and he will have so mnay good memories with you which he will constantly be reminded of, and he might wake up and realise what he had. I hope everything works out for you.
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A
female
reader, x..BabyGirl..x + ♥, writes (27 May 2008):
 Don't keep your hopes up for him coming through the door with his tail between his legs. 6 years is a lot, sometimes I guess you just spend too much time with one person and the feelings change. Get into contact with him, you may be angry, I don't know, but don't let him hear that you're angry (if you are) stay calm and ask him politely why he's suddenly decided to do what he's done.
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