A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been talking to a man online for around a year. We knew each other through mutual friends but live 250 miles apart.. We talk every day and the chat is often sexual but usually in a banter ish way. Recenrly we have become more close, chatting three hours a night until we both sleep. Am still not certain of his intentions however as he has not suggested meeting up yet sent me an expensive gift a month pr so.back. He is in his fifties and I am thirty. Not a problem per se but am wondering if he is retiscent to suggest taking things further as the odds aren't high. Or maybe he sees me as a friend.We both have two children but we do get along really well. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSorry that happened to you.. Thats what worried me exactly.
We talk maybe three hours at night until we sleep. He works lomg hours as do I and I know hes not married as we have mutual friends. Several times he has hinted at meeting - but I could not make the journey. It was a month or so ago he sent the present which was several hundred pounds. And very thoughtfl in what it was. We started out as friends and hes always kind of been there even to talk when I had prior relationship problems. Neither of us has said anything to say we are going to have a relationship but it has been hinted at. Yesterday when I said I was drifting off to sleep he said sonething like he was going to say something but bottled it.
Thanks both of you!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2012):
This happened to me over the course of 5 months. We spoke by phone everyday. Flirted. He even said he loved me a few times.
But there was not that sense of eagerness for him to come see me. I realize I made a great mistake by purchasing him a flight. He cancelled the day before, siting being hospitalized. That wasn't the entire reason however. By then I had noticed his calls becoming more infrequent.
There was someone else, and it took him weeks, if not months to admit it. The lies destroyed me.
I feel that he was just killing time on the phone, while he was looking for someone to hook up with.
When he told me he 'found someone', he attempted to friend zone me.
I cut him off completely. I am not of the age, or in the mood, to be someone's second choice, or get all the 'baggage and venting' while someone else receives all the love and affection. Too bad.
My feeling is that it is far too long to wait for someone whom you haven't seen face to face. I'll not make that mistake again.
Another thing to consider is: is he being honest? Could he be married or involved with someone else?
I would bring up the subject of meeting in person very soon, and if there is any reluctance, it would be telltale.
I seriously wish you best of luck, more luck than I had.
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A
female
reader, Vee1 +, writes (15 September 2012):
 Perhaps he is a gentleman and has not initiated meeting up as could be waiting for you to do that. Maybe he is not certain that you are interested in him but what I can tell you he is certainly keen on you as he simply would not have sent you the gift. If I was you and have made the decision to want to meet him then take the bull by its horns and suggest it. There is nothing to lose.
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