A
female
age
30-35,
*0ph1ek1ely
writes:My boyfriend split up with me 1 1/2 years ago. He never gave me a specific reason. From then on, because i wanted to get back with him - i tried everything. Then we'd argue and he'd say - 'I was going to say we should get back together, but now its stupid'. I'd do the slightest thing wrong and we go back to square one again.This kept happening, i knew we were never going to get back together so i just wanted to get over him. Even though i wished deep down that he'd just turned around and say he wanted to be with me. I attempted at blocking him out but he always came crawling back after a couple of weeks saying he 'couldnt live without me.'I told him we couldnt be friends because i coudlnt cope, but he told me i was immature and pathetic. Time passed again and i had a one night stand, i didnt feel good enough for anyone so hoped that it would help me get over him. He then found out and started calling me a s*** and saying i was just like 'everyone else' and said again 'to think i was considering getting back with you, but now im not'. even though he'd done the same but with around four people.Now we've both left school we're slightly more mature, but the whole situation is still going on. I finally agreed to be friends with him, even though deep down it hurt me. we'd go out for drinks and sometimes id stay over. it led to sex. i was hoping that it would change his mind and want to get back with me. id often bring up the subject of him treating me like a girlfriend and he'd just say 'i love you but dont know what i want' i stupidly told him id wait until he was ready but i cant cope anymore. i dont know where i stand, if i knew he just wanted to be friends, i would give up trying to be his girlfriend. but hes hanging me on by this string...i dont want to lose him but i want to give him an ulitmatium. please help x
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (12 October 2009):
Unless you give him the ultimatum that you will leave, then you will be on the string for a long time. He's using you. Why would you want to be treated this way? Never ever be second best and let someone mess you around like this, or you'll never be happy. You have to give him the ultimatum, because he'll use you and that's it. And if he uses you, he's worth losing.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2009): Here is the deal- he finds you annoying.
You may have your good qualities, but you also have a set of behaviors that he find irritating and that drives him away. When you are drunk or having sex your annoyance factor is in the background so you get along ok.
He has already made the decision you are not good girlfriend material. You need to make your decision if the current situation is what you want, because you could waste years in this kind of back and forth half relationship. If you want a real relationship, start fresh with someone else.
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