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We split up 3 months ago but he's still living with me showing no desire to move out

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 April 2020) 4 Answers - (Newest, 15 April 2020)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi I ended my relationship with a lazy selfish partner in January he is addicted to weed and spends hundreds on it a month I told him stupidly he could stay until he found somewhere else to live his parents told him he can move back in with them but he won’t go it has been 3 months since we split up and he has never mentioned about moving out he even tried it on with me last night even tho he is in the spare room I cannot understand why he is not taking me serious that I want him gone we were together for 6 years and I have been so miserable for most of it always on his Xbox getting stoned no time with me etc I work 2 jobs he has a job but it’s only as when he is needed any advice greatly appreciated

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (15 April 2020):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntThere's not really much you can do during the lock down as people are not supposed to be moving homes or having contact with new people.

However, the lock down will end at some point and, when it does, you need to give him a date by which you want him out of the house. If he doesn't go, wait for him to go out, pack all his stuff into bin liners, leave it outside the front door and change the lock.

He is hanging in there because he has an easy ride and he is hoping you will "get over it". Stop sending him mixed messages. Tell you him need him to be gone and take steps to remove him if he doesn't go.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2020):

Call his parents.Have them come and get him.Your welcome.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2020):

He's not taking you seriously, because you're not serious.

Now you're stuck with a squatter during a covid-19 shutdown.

When the shutdown is eased; invite some tough male family-members over; and hand him a notarized-letter giving him notice to move-out of your place. Keep a copy, and file for an eviction as soon as the covid-19 eviction moratorium is lifted. Offer to help him pack. Keep your male relatives coming around to check on you.

If you're a renter, what does your landlord have to say about it? If you're a homeowner, you may have to get legal-advice to determine what your rights are. Laws differ from state to state regarding evictions.

Otherwise, deal with it. You invited him to stay, and didn't press him to move after breaking-up with him.

When you decide to be serious, he'll take you seriously. He'll stay as long as you beat around the bush and don't put him out.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (14 April 2020):

Honeypie agony auntYou made the mistake of letting him stay for "as long as he wanted" when you didn't give him a notice with X amount of weeks you got to be out.

So this is a problem of your own creation. He is taking FULL on advantage of your kindness, weakness and perhaps fear of confrontations.

So much so that he made a move on you?! And you didn't tell him:" GO PACK your stuff, this is enough, GTFO!"?

CUT the internet. If he can't play X-box he is more likely to want to move home.

OR woman up and tell him, you know what? You need to go, you got a week to pack your stuff and leave, this is not working for me.

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