A
male
age
30-35,
*IDM
writes:Hi, I hope anyone can help me as I'm very upset over this problem I have....I have recently met this girl who I like more than words can describe, we have been talking for 3 weeks now and met once so far, she lives about half hour from me and we met on the net we are so alike it's unreal.. She said a while back she likes me a lot and wanted to meet to make sure it would work as so did I so we met and now we are going to meet again and she is coming round my house for dinner with my family. I already have met her family who like me and now she is saying she is not sure she is ready for a relationship yet and she is being very off with me. She does not call me to say she is on MSN or anything. What should I do as when we met we kissed and she was very close to me and if we don't go out I don't know what I will do. Please help me solve this any help would be good many thanks!
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male
reader, jm81690  +, writes (25 August 2007):
 You might be moving a bit fast man, I mean, you've been talking for 3 weeks and you're already inviting her over for diner with the family?
Maybe you should just slow it down a bit make her more comfortable.
A
male
reader, SIDM +, writes (25 August 2007):
SIDM is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes, very very true but i've told her i can't talk to her since i just need time to get over her and to move on in life and she said well in that case i don't want to speak to you again so it's all done and dusted but hey life moves on right? there's someone out there for everyone! just finding them, that's a sod maybe they should invent a sat nav to find your one true love! wouldn't that be cool lol, many thanks neways guys!
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A
male
reader, DJ8433  +, writes (24 August 2007):
 Way to be a man, my hats off to you. Now will you be true to your word? Really what you've done up to now is the easy part. Being true to your word and staying way when she keeps contacting you. This is the true test of a man.
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male
reader, SIDM +, writes (24 August 2007):
SIDM is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey guys and thanks so much for all the help u have given me but sadly i just had a very long think and a drive in my car and decided to just end it i said i couldnt be friends becuase it wouldnt help me get over her and she didnt take it very well and she then told me she likes another guy which didnt help but a least i found it in me to end it which was all down to u guys so many thanks!
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A
male
reader, DJ8433 +, writes (24 August 2007):
I too have been through the same thing. In my case, she didn't want to let me go, cause "I'm a good guy" but in her mind it was ok to sleep around. I found this out after we broke it off. I did not want to sleep around, that was a decision I made because I didn't want to "screw it up for us". I was "in love with her", but she only "loved me". A BIG difference in her mind. What I did was my decision and what she did was hers. We tried to stay friends, but when I found out she had been creepin, I told her never to contact me again, and if she did I would not return the favor. I havent spoken to her since. You can feel the same again about another woman even if you do break it off with this one, it just takes time to get over. I have a very close friend who wanted to commit suicide because the man she loved left her. She's still around and doing great. After 10 months, but she's finally going on a date tonight. You are only in control of what you do. If you need more time to get over her, then take more time, but prepare yourself for the day when you will have to say goodbye, if that day comes.
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A
male
reader, SIDM +, writes (23 August 2007):
SIDM is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey thanx for the help but like i said i have been through all of this with her all she said is she just keeps thinking all the time wether or not she wants us to be going out nd i said well im gona leave it up to u nd just let u decide i dont wana rush things i just want to know i have her if u know what i meen i just want to know shes with me nd no one else becuase if i dont get her i will never feel the same about another girl becuase i cant gt her out ma head nd belive me ive tried chatting to other girls nd it just aint working lol
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A
male
reader, DJ8433 +, writes (23 August 2007):
What happened to you sounds similar to when someone drops the "L bomb" and the other person isn't up for it. For whatever reason. Give her some space, if she really digs you she will let you know that your not talking to her enough. In the meantime, chat up other women MSN and enjoy yourself. When you're together, be on your best, happy, friendly, kind, fun, positive behavior. Then maybe she will want to be around more and more and more. Don't bring up your deep feelings with her again unless she does first. Have fun!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2007): Well then there is nothing you can do. If she's not ready, she's not ready. That could be the honest truth. But if not then she obviously doesn't wanna tell you, so what can you do? A lot of guys break it off with women saying "I just don't know if I am ready for a relationship right now" Nobody questions their behavior. But if a woman says that she must be lieing right? Not all women are desperate to have a relationship. If she doesn't feel that she is ready, then let it go. She is young. She is probably talking to several guys on MSN and maybe she found one she wants to date also, making her not want to get too serious with you.
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male
reader, SIDM +, writes (23 August 2007):
SIDM is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi all ok sorry i havnt been so like in depth with this i have asked her why and she said i just dont know if im ready for a relationship yet and things like this and she says things like i really like you im just not sure i dont know what i want and i said well i am not pressuresing u or anything so no rush but its getting worse i think shes not sure if she can come round for t at my house now or anything its really upsetting me i have asked her and told her how i feel about her and she still doesnt know we met through mates online on msn which is a instant messenger for those who dont know what it is we have such fun when we chat and are together shes just scared i think i dont know shes not telling me everything im sure shes not.
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A
male
reader, DJ8433 +, writes (23 August 2007):
Relax, overanxiousness can be perceived as a lack of confidence to women. You are going to have to be more specific. It's obvious what you want from her, but give more explanation of what you did when you were together, and how you left off with each other. How did you meet? What's this MSN business about?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2007): Nobody knows why she is suddenly pulling back from you. Why don't you ask her straight up? That's the only way you will ever know. Just say the next time you talk to her (on MSN may be easiest) "I have been wondering why you have pulled back from me lately? We seemed to hit it off so great, and then all of sudden you say you're not ready..is it anything I did?" Tell her how much you're into her.
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