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We only see each other once a week, but he says he needs to spend more time w/ his troubled sister!

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 October 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 5 October 2007)
A female United States age 30-35, *ovexgurl19 writes:

My boyfriend and I see each other once a week, but he is having sister issues I am giving him his space, but I really need him. What should I do, I dont want to be selfish. He said we should cool it down, and that he should spend more time with his sister, because she is going the wrong path, and he feels it his fault for not being with her.

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A male reader, rcn United States +, writes (5 October 2007):

rcn agony auntIf he's not with you, does that mean he can blame himself if you cheated? Our path is our own, no one is responsible for us but us.

I commend him for taking care of his sister, but being in a relationship, you can't ignore one for the other. I have a friend of mine, who's married. She and her husband are on track, great jobs, good kids, nice home, everything working out for them. Now their brothers and sisters are the opposite. Talk about a family that continues tripping into drama. She had some unbelievable stories.

Sometimes they need help. No it doesn't interrupt what they are working toward, the have allocated 2 hours, one evening a week to listen to the drama and help them try to sort out issues that are going on. They don't allow it to consume them because of the importance and commitment they have with their families, their employers, their children, and now the new grand baby.

I don't agree with the way he is handling this. What happens, we all play many roles in life. If we focus too much on one then the others begin collapsing. Then we have to ignore something else to fix the area that we broke. We need to allocate our time in a way that each area receives close to equal benefit.

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A male reader, rcn United States +, writes (5 October 2007):

rcn agony auntIf he's not with you, does that mean he can blame himself if you cheated? Our path is our own, no one is responsible for us but us.

I commend him for taking care of his sister, but being in a relationship, you can't ignore one for the other. I have a friend of mine, who's married. She and her husband are on track, great jobs, good kids, nice home, everything working out for them. Now their brothers and sisters are the opposite. Talk about a family that continues tripping into drama. She had some unbelievable stories.

Sometimes they need help. No it doesn't interrupt what they are working toward, the have allocated 2 hours, one evening a week to listen to the drama and help them try to sort out issues that are going on. They don't allow it to consume them because of the importance and commitment they have with their families, their employers, their children, and now the new grand baby.

I don't agree with the way he is handling this. What happens, we all play many roles in life. If we focus too much on one then the others begin collapsing. Then we have to ignore something else to fix the area that we broke. We need to allocate our time in a way that each area receives close to equal benefit.

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